Oh for the love of pup's

Oh what a day I had. I've had some rough days since B left. But none (in my opinion) was more tasking than today.

This morning I wake up (before my alarm mind you) to my poor baby whimpering and whining. So I call for him to get up on the bed. I still have my eyes closed because I have another 10 min before my alarm goes off. I love my sleep, if I don't have to open my eyes, its not happening. My poor little guy tried to get up on the bed 4 times, before he jumped, failed, and yelps in pain. :(

So I pick him up, I talk to him (yeah, I'm pet that owner), and he was so sad looking.
I had a class today, which I had planned on skipping to take Sammy to the vet. But when I looked up the class calendar I saw I had a quiz. Well... fuck. I can't leave him alone. And I can't miss my class.

whats a girl to do!?! I call and wake up my daddy. hahahahahaha.

I told him what was going on and asked if he could watch SamJam for me. Of course he says yes.
On my way to campus, I called and made him an appointment at the vet @1230.

I went to class, took my quiz, and ducked out early to go pick up Sammy. When I got to my parents house he was just fine. my dad made him jump onto the Life-Force-Stealing Chair, and he was fine(this is when I think he over did it) but i took my dad's advice and called the vet and canceled my appointment.

I took him home. I let him down and out of the car, let him walk in the grass... then it became time to climb the stairs to our apartment. he made it about 2 steps before he stopped and cried.
So I carried him upstairs called the vet back, and told them I was bringing him in.

1230 rolls around and I take him in. I'm sitting in the vet room, and reading. Sam's curled up in my lap. The vet comes in and checks him out, there is seriously nothing physically wrong with him. I could have told you that (and i did tell her that). I looked him over, poked, pushed, prodded him before I even left for class. We talked over the options, and with her suggestions and the fact that I have drill this weekend, I decided to hand Sams over to her and let her do her tests.

4 hours later, I go to pick him up and talk to her about the results. It all looked "pretty normal" to use her words. He had "crystals" in his UA slides. And was walking normal. his blood work is normal.

Her diagnosis is that he's having some back issues. Which is really REALLY common in doxies.

So now he's on anti-inflammatory pills and is on strict kennel only instructions all weekends. I called my dad (they're babysitting him while I have drill) and told him to put up "The Cage". its a larger kennel that used to hold both my dad's doxies (with room to spare). I'll have to take pictures of him when I drop him off. Its a lot of room for him to walk around in. Yet, not enough space to hurt himself.

the vet said no: running, jumping, climbing, rough housing with other dog, no playing, no going up or down stairs, etc. Basically he's grounded to his kennel other than when my dad takes him out (carries him) to go potty.

Hopefully he's better when i get home Sunday night. everyone say a puppy prayer today.

And if one door opens to another door closed

I hope you keep on walkin' til you find the window
If it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile
But more than anything, more than anything

My wish for you
Is that this life becomes all that you want it to
Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small
You never need to carry more than you can hold

And while you're out there gettin' where you're gettin' to
I hope you know somebody loves you
And wants the same things too
Yeah, this is my wish

_______________________________________________

I was talking to an old friend today who's boyfriend is currently deployed.

And we were talking about how we haven't hung out in years and the fact that we need to reconnect.

I said to her "Sometimes life guides paths together". I just really think this statement is so true for me lately

And lately I've really found that god was looking down on me and saw I was in need of a friend who just 'got it' and blessed me with my new friend/old acquaintance J.

So here's a little back ground:

J and I went to Middle School and High School together (graduated the same year). We had the same friends, and often were at the same events together (dances, games, etc.). Even though we knew each other we weren't "friends". We were acquaintances. I didn't dislike her for any reason, but there just never came a time where our life paths met at a time for us to talk.

So fast forward several years....

B and I stop by a local bar to drop of his friend. J and her Husband JT were there. B and JT went to high school together and graduated the same year too. So we're talking and BS'ing and exchange numbers. We text a little bit, but nothing ever comes of it.

Fast forward another couple years...

We've been Facebook friends for this whole time and just never really talked. One day I see she posted that she needs some adult interaction. J and JT have a 4 year old Em. JT is gearing up to deploy here in the near future, so J quit her no good job to spend time with him. So we arrange an 'adult day'. We didn't do anything but hang out on her patio, but we just clicked.

I honestly feel that god guided our life paths together right at the right time. I mean, of course he did. Everyone (even the most devout believer) has a moment in their life where they question where God is leading them. This just feels right.

Its good to have a friend who was in the military (medically discharged), who's married to the military (JT's about to set out on his second tour), and someone who just 'gets it'.

I can look at her and just stick out my lip, and all that she says is "I know Hun!"

As JT's D-Day (deployment day) creeps up closer and closer she's more and more emotional. and it just feels good to be here for her. She texted me tonight and said she was sorry in advance for not being a 'very good friend' in the near future because she's going to spend time with JT.

I told her do NOT worry about it. I'll be there for her and we'll hang once JT can't anymore. And

I told her a while ago that I fully plan on being there for her when he's gone. I'll cook her food, make sure she eats, and take care of EM until she can.

I'm blessed.

I went through some rough times when B left. Took me a while to get my mind right.

I feel that now that I'm mentally healthy and squared away, god has blessed me with a good friend to keep me that way.

I've always been a firm believer that you can't be good in any relationship that has love (friends, family, marriages) until you are good and love yourself first.

God waited till the perfect time to bring my path and J's path together.

I don't know what I would do with out her right now.

hahahaha. its been less than a month since we've become so close and if we go more than 24 hours, we tell each other we're going through withdrawls. hahahaha. I went over to her house today for just an hour or so. That way we could get our 'fix'. we're a little to perfect for each other, its kind of scary.

Confession Friday

Its been a long long week. But Friday is here. and its time to confess:

Confession Friday
♥ I took a pregnancy test this week for the first time in almost 2 years.

♥ I wanted it to be negative (we're just not ready), but when it was i was a little bit sad.

♥ I'm desperately afraid of getting pregnant because of how many people so close to me have had difficulties.

♥ Mostly I'm afraid of having a Miscarriage. I don't know if i could handle it emotionally.

♥ All that being said. I can't wait to start TTC (trying to conceive). B will be an amazing husband.

♥ B almost got into a fist fight last night because someone was giving me shit and it upset me. and while i don't want him to fight, the fact that he would made me both so happy and incredibly hot!!

♥ I'm a little afraid of how Sammy will react when i have a baby. He freaks out when my Amazing Godson shows up for a while. Last time he actually peed on the carpet. he hasn't done that in ages.

♥ I'm afraid I'll be a mom like my mom. Even though I'm not willing to let that happen. Its still a fear.

♥ I know my mom is going to give me sooooooooooo much shit about the fight B 'almost got into' on Thursday, and I'm just not willing to listen.

♥ I think i might... might.. possibly have an addiction to blogging.

.... and with that. I say good night loves.
Sweet dreams

October 15th - Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day

Today is National Pregnancy & Infant Loss Remembrance Day. Far Far Far to many of my dearest friends have suffered pregnancy and infant loss in their life time.

Take a few moments from your day and say a prayer in memory and in love and loss of the babies that were to beautiful to be kept in this world.

May they always be remembered. May they never be forgotten. They will always be loved. Always.

Suprise to me!

So i was compltey convinced that there was something going on sunday that i wasn't paying attention to saturday. lol.
I had known we were going to my father in law's house but i wasn't ready for what happend when we got there.
My family and friends threw me a Suprise Welcome Home Party! i was so shocked when i walked in the door and saw everyone. I was floored!!

It was so much fun.
my parents and brother were there. all of B's siblings were there (he has 2 sisters and 1 brother) 2 of the 3 brought their significant others. B's mom and step dad were there. then my BFF showed up with my godson. who by the way i was texting the whole time we were driving up to his house. and she pretended to be not going anywhere that night. sneaky devil. i had so much fun!!

This is my god son dominic! seriously love this man.
my broha and my sister in law. looking classy.
everyone hanging out
B's dad, my mom and my dad
dom again. sorry. he's just to cute to not take pictures of.

oh. these pictures are brought to you off of my NEW CAMERA!!

B's dad gave me his old one. Al likes to buy new electronic things and give us his old ones. lol. so now i'm rocking with the Samsung Digimax L60. I can't wait to take more pictures and see what this baby can do. i'm so excited. after months in the heat mine's not doing so hot. lol. but i'm still freaking geeked about this camera.

what?
whats that you say?
you want to see more pictures of my adorable god son?

well... since you asked so nicely.

blogs i love & products that are not worthy

http://alatteinthemorning.blogspot.com/

I found this blog via the blogs of note. If you haven't been looking there, you totally should. they have some awesome blogs.

Also she's from Oregon which makes here awesome. then she's a coffee lover which makes her 2x as awesome. lol.

but in one of her blogs she points out a little shop:
http://www.bamboohugs.com/
Hers:Blog Entry Here

I know a lot of you guys have kids, want kids, know kids, etc. So i thought I'd pass on the awesomeness of both the blog and the bamboo. If you've never felt bamboo made cloth you are MISSING OUT! At the hospital i used to work at a local company used to sell them on the bridge in the hospital. Bamboo fabric is amazing.

This online shop does bath towels/blankets for babies & children. they're super cute/hip designs. I want to buy them for my godson. So cute! The pluses of using bamboo fabric is amazing. Bamboo fabric is: soft, sustainable, super absorbent, antibacterial, antifungle, antimicrobial, hypoallergenic, etc. Seriously amazing stuff. and so green!! check it out!

matt, liz and madeline

If you haven't been following this blog, then you should cause your missing out on reading some intense, funny, interesting, life changing stuff.
http://www.mattlogelin.com/

Its about the life of a normal guy who tragically lost his wife 27 hours after she gave birth to their beautiful daughter madeline. Its an amazing story and Matt's journey from that day to now is amazing. He's taken his tragic event to help other women and single parent family's all over the US.

the post we're here to talk about is this one:
http://www.mattlogelin.com/archives/2008/11/11/thank-you/

I've added the badge to my blog (you can see it on the top on the right hand side).

from matts blog:

for those of you who’ve gotten to know me over the past few months, you know where i stand politically. if you click through to the site, you may be surprised to find that their spokesperson is someone with whom i disagree politically. despite this, i wholeheartedly support this charity for all the good that they’ve done for abused, abandoned and neglected children. now…i’m not asking for anything here, but if you’re looking for a way to make a difference this holiday season, this organization is a great one. if you’re hoping to send something to madeline, instead please consider donating the equivalent amount to my stuff bags so that other children can feel the love of countless people they will never meet.

Sometimes we get so wrapped up in our lives that we forget that there are other people out there struggling. So I'm passing this on to you all. I know you guys are amazing people!!

Baby Dominic!!!

So i just realized i haven't posted pictures of him in forevers!!!
so let me AW my amazingly cute god son.









**YOU CAN'T RESIST THE EYES**

I hate babies, okay?

I know that with the age group i'm in, I am going to be faced with several stereo types. I'm young and married. I did something some people skip these days. I got married before having kids. Having kids by the age of 21 is a very common thing here. and often the trip down the aisle is skipped and re routed with a trip to the doctor. lol.

Now i'm not saying that people who have kids before marriage are bad, but i'm just tired of hearing about it.

all i heard this weekend was "having kids is hard, we have no time, no money, can't go out, blah blah blah blah blah." and with the same breath they turn around and ask me when i plan on having kids. good job at the brain washing but i'm pretty sure you failed.

weak sauce.

I'm going to wear a tshirt that says: I punch babies in the face. maybe then it won't be so weird when i don't have a screaming kid on my hip.

maybe i'm a tradionalist but i believe things have a certain order.

high school
college
marriage
being married for a while
then kids!!!

so i got married before i graduated from college. at least i went and am still going. i think people need to live their lives before having kids. Go out!!! do things, see places, visit new lands.

okay people.
i hate babies.
i hate fetus's (feti)
i don't care if you think i'm missing out
i don't care if you think i'll have cute babies (okay maybe i like that one)
i don't care if you want my baby to play with your baby
that still isn't going to make me rush to have a baby.

jeebus.
vent over.