Never ending migraine.

After a really long time of no pain, or at least minimal pain. I feel like I have had this one for so long I've lost track.



Its now 1:30 am

I'm nauseous from the pain. I told B that my dinner might make a 're-appearance'.

I even got a nice relaxing massage today.


ugh.
This shit is getting ridiculous.

So tonight i'm sipping on sprite, rocking an ice pack on my neck and on my forehead and a heating pad on my calves.

Falling Apart - Party of 1!

Fresh Start

This last month I have been Bitch Slapped by reality.

After seeing some disturbing pictures of myself from graduation and seeing "196" on my scale. I've had no other choice but face reality. I'm fat. I'm not just a little over weight any more. I'm no longer just in my "new marriage extra weight". I'm out of excuses. I did this to myself. Now I need to get myself out of it.

So, I go to the gym enough. That I know its not lack of activity that has lead me down the dark path of lumpyness. Its what I'm eating, how much i'm eating, when i'm eating, and so on.

So in light of all of this I've decided to make some changes.

I'm starting small and setting realistic goals for myself. I'm done making excuses for myself. If I have a bad day of eating, I'll face it as a fact and learn. If I want a beer, I'll have A beer and not the whole 6 pack.

So here are my goals:

• Weigh in once a week. 
• Try and stick to a 1200 calorie limit
• Track my food (good and bad) on Myfitnesspal.com app on my phone. 
• Go to the gym 3-4x a week.
• Do a minimum of 30min of cardio 3x a week. 

That is it. I'm not going to put myself on a strict diet. I'm not going to eliminate carbs, sugars, etc. I'm going to try and make better choices but not force myself to do something i don't want to do. I'm going to make food I like, but with healthier choices. 

Here is my 'goal' menu:

Breakfast: Egg Whites (3-4) with 1/4-1/2 cup veggies (tomatoes, peppers, spinach, etc)

Lunch: Lean Protein (chicken or turkey), 1/2 cup rice, 1/2 cup veggie

Dinner: Lean Protein, 1 cup rice or 1 sm sweet potato, 1 cup veggie

Snack: Fruits and veggies

Desert: Otter Pop (15 calories each. Cures my sweet tooth with out the insane calories) 

Water: 1gal a day.

So I'm not saying I'm going to do this perfectly. I know i'll have my struggles to keep with in this. But this is my goal.

 

Find me on Myfitnesspal

Username: Mrsrotty

 

The Chiropracter Battle

Around the first of the year I got a phone call from my mom saying she had pre-paid for me to go see a chiropractor. My mom called some of my dad's old military buddies to get recommendations for a chiropractor down here. and 3 of the 4 contacts suggested this place. She's the sole chiropractor of a little practice in the small downtown area here.

As of today, I've been seeing her for a little over 6 weeks. I really like her (as a person) she's so down to earth, very "crunchy" (naturalpathic type), very open and honest. I've felt very welcome and comfortable with her from the very beginning.

I called my mom after the first appointment almost in tears. The doc had told me that the first time was normally the most "shocking", but i had no idea what I was getting into. The doctor adjusted me manually and then used the "adjuster" on my shoulders and spine. I was just not prepared mentally for that type of adjustment. The only time I've ever seen a chiropractor was when I threw my back out in high school. Even then, the chiropractor only used the 'adjuster' on me. So the whole manual manipulation was so new to me. 

I've seen here 6 times now. The 3rd time i went and saw her I was having a semi-bad headache day. She manually adjusted my neck to the right manually and oh.my.god. did it hurt. It was a huge pop and it was fairly painful even though it did come with a 'relief' feeling. Ever since then she has not been able to get my neck to adjust manually. She can get a slight pop sometimes on the left, but it is not going well so well. 

I know that a lot of people told me that chiropractic would be a good thing to do or look into when it came to my headaches, but I just don't know. I don't see a serious improvement in my headaches. They do seem slightly less infrequent for a while, but then they'll kick back up again. 

Someone smart told me recently that Chiropractors are not supposed to adjust you manually and it can actually make your headaches worse. I go into see another new doctor (how many is that now?) on Friday. I'll discuss with him what the chiropractor has been doing. I need to go in and talk to him about my prescriptions and to see if what we're doing (medication wise) is still working out, or do we need to re-think the meds?

I'm just frustrated, a little scared, and tired of being in pain.

Doctors who never agree.

Its kind of insane when you think about how Doctor A will see you on monday, and diagnose you with XYZ. You see Doctor B on Friday, and he cancels out what Doctor A said and changes your meds as well. 

After seeing about a dozen different doctors over the last year. You can imagine how many different medications I have been on.

It wasn't until late may when I was finally able to see the 'assigned' primary care physician that I was assigned. Dr. S was so amazing. He was the first person who ever seemed genuinely interested in what was the cause of the problem and wanted to get to the bottom of my issue.

He was the one that requested the MRI & the sleep study. 

He had his nurse call me every couple weeks to keep tabs on how I was feeling, how the medication was working, etc. It was nice to have someone 'on my side'. 

The down side to being seen by a military doctor is they get deployed. so because of this I have had to see another round of new doctors. 

I feel like I have got back to ground zero with the doctors now. In December I felt that my headache frequency were increasing rapidly and I was really afraid to go back to how bad it was in the beginning of the year. 

I called and made an appointment with a new doctor. I went in and the guy was a terrible doctor. He was the type who doesn't listen to what you have to say. He gave me yet another 'neurological' test, and told me to continue taking my meds. It was seriously a waste of time.

So now here we are. 1 year since the start of my migraines, taking medication like its going out of style, and waiting for my doctor to get back from deployment so I can actually see someone who cares.

2011 The Year Of The ER Visit

    I  was talking today on Facebook to my friend. He asked what I was doing. To which i replied, "blogging. sort of". Of course this prompted the response: "sort of?". So I explained, when I say I'm going to blog it takes, 30 minutes to actually type out what I want to say, and 2-3 hours of doing everything but blogging to build up the courage to actually blog.

So, here I am, laying in bed with approximately an hour left on my laptop battery, still at a loss on how to start this blog post. Yet, it seems by not 'starting' I have already gotten it started. talk about a mind fuck. haha

I titled this blog post "2011 The Year Of The ER Visit", because that's really how I feel about the year.

January - May are a blur. Its hard for me to put into words exactly how hard these 5 months were for me.

My headaches/migraine journey started in January 2011. I've always had headaches. My mother and grandma get them, so I always thought of them as hereditary. When I got them before I could take a couple Excedrin, take a nap, and I would be good to go. These new headaches were so different. This was a new pain I had never felt before. This pain was all encompassing. It takes over your body like a climbing vine takes over a brick wall.

I can remember in early Jan during one of my first battles with the pain, I was sitting on the floor of my husbands office. I can't tell you why I was in the room, just that I wanted to be near him. I was sitting on the floor, with my back against the wall, with my head on my knees, I was in so much pain. I couldn't eat, because chewing was to painful. I couldn't drink because the sound of swallowing was to much. Not to mention the constant nausea that was created by the pain.

It was very weird when they first started. Because I didn't know (and still don't know) what causes them. Sometimes the migraines didn't follow the same 'path' per-say. When the first started I felt so useless. I didn't have the medication to stop them, I couldn't function with them, and I felt like no one understood just how bad they really were. I felt like no one would take me seriously and understand just how badly I hurt.

The pain was different. Most of the time the pain starts at my right temple and spreads from there. Its like a forest fire, it just spreads until it has consumed everything in its path. It spreads across the top of my head, down behind my eyes, across my jaw and down my body. Other times it starts behind my eye balls and feels like someone is constantly pushing on the back of my eye ball, and the pain spreads from there. Sometimes I can feel the pain creeping, or feel it sort of starting, and then I can catch it with a pill and stop it before it even starts.

Other times, i'm not so lucky. These are the worst. The 'other' is when it feels like someone took a 2x4 to the side of my head and the migraine hits me out of no where. Its like some set weights on both shoulders and on the top of my head. The constant pressure and pain takes the wind right out of your sails. These are the worst of the worst.

Between January - May, I was in the ER 5 times. I was in the ER 2times in Jan and 1 time in Feb, Mar, and May. These months were such a blur of pain, needles, pills, doctors, ER visits, ice packs, and more pain. I had my blood drawn every 6 weeks, (and still do) because they found my thyroid was "significantly under active". I was bounced from doctor to doctor. Every time I called to make an appointment, I was assigned to a new doctor. I lost track of how many doctors I have seen after the 12th new face.

This is me during the sleep study

I finally got to see the doctor who was my "assigned" primary care physician. He prescribed several medications and several tests.

I went in and had a sleep study conducted. They found I had a slight snore, but that was it. No sleep apnea, no weird findings.

I had an MRI done. Again no findings nothing wrong.

I completed food journal after food journal after food journal. Its to the point now that I just write down everything I ate, did, didn't do, took, drank, etc in a journal before I go to bed. Because I know its just a matter of time before I get assigned another doctor and they make me start all over again.

During this constant battle with the pain and trying to keep that under control, I was also back in school. So September I moved 600 miles away from my family, was re-united with my husband, had to find a place to live, started school again, and was fighting a constant battle with my head. To say I was stressed was an understatement. I thank god for the classes I had during this battle. I broke down on my last day of my Materials & Techniques class. I told them that if it wasn't for them and their unquestioning support during this hard time, I wouldn't have passed. And it was so true. I struggled so hard to stay afloat during that term.

During spring term '11 I was either in debilitating pain, or fairly drugged up and between those 2 options it made school work/going to school a lot harder for me. I was seeing so many doctors and having my medication tweaked each time. I now take more pills than my 87 year old grandmother. Its slightly insane the amount of medication I take.

 

These are the medications that I take. I'm currently trying to get off of some of them. But at this point I need all of them. 

I take:

Maxalt ( or 'before' I get a headache)

Ultram (for 'after' the headache starts)

Synthroid (for my thyroid)

Percocets (for when the ultram doesn't work) 

Phenogren (anti-nausea pill)

Periactin (at night its half for allergies and half for migraines)

Nasonex (nose spray for allergies) 

and of course my birth control. 

So in 1 day I can take up to 7 different pills. This is more than slightly insane.

So now you know most of the back story about my migraine battle. I'll try and go into more depth about what the doctors have said, what I am doing, and what I have tried. 

It has been a long year. Its hard to talk about all the details of the year because the details are so blurry. The dates and times are all blurred in a drugged up pain ridden mess in my head. 

Its amazing how many people have reached out to me through out this last year to me. I want to reach out to anyone else who had had headaches, migraines, tension headaches, sinus headaches, etc. I want you all to know, I know how it feels and I am here for you.

My Journey with Migraine Headaches

   As you guys know I've been battling a fairly complex battle with migraines. The battle has been going on for over a year now and I have been swaying back and forth on what to write, how to go about documenting my battles, and so on. I've talked to people about it, I've tweeted about it (@IamMrsRotty), I've been over and over it in my head.  The best advice I got was from my friend Miranda. She said "If it's part of you, it's worth blogging about." 

I have to remember that this is my blog and it is for me. I shouldn't worry if I come across as whiny, or poor me. I feel like I need to get this battle down and documented. I want to be able to remember years from now what happened and how if felt, what I went through, and that I was able to make it though.

I feel like I need to start this with a little preface. Part of my issue with my headaches is how all encompassing the pain is. The details get a bit fuzzy and a little hard to remember. I'm going to be pulling from my tumblr account, prior blog posts, and memories to try and make the dates as accurate as possible.

In the small amount of research I've done, I've learned quite a bit. I know I need to do more research and investigate other methods, treatments, triggers, etc. I need to be my own advocate, but sometimes that is easier said then done. 

I have learned that 25% of women and 8% of men get migraines sometime in their lifetime. The majority of migraine sufferers are between the ages of 25-50. While this seems like a large window, this is actually kind of a key detail for me, because my first migraine started just short of 6 months after my 25th birthday.

I think that I'm going to break this story/journey into pieces. I know that long blog posts are hard to read and while i am writing this for me mostly, i still want to make it 'readable' . 

I'm still building up the courage to open up completely about the pain, the doctors, the being ignored, the medication, the struggles with school work and military work, the struggles to get back to a normal schedule, etc. There is so much that I have gone through in the last year that has stemmed from these migraines.

So please bear with me as I try to open up and wade through my journey with migraines.



That is me in the midst of one of my many battles.

I'm a living example...

Of why is it important to get sleep, eat right, and keep your body in balance.

I have possibly the worst cold i’ve had in a long long time.

Last week I worked long hours (ave. 16hr days), ate like crap (eat what you can when you can), and didn’t get the sleep I needed.

When I got released around noon on Friday I went home, and my oh my did my body just shut down.

It is now Tuesday and I am back to work (0540-1500). and I’m still freaking sick. I am trying my best to eat right. but I haven’t been able to get to the gym. I had to cancel my appointment with my Personal Trainer today because of how sick I am. Its hard to work out when you can’t breathe, get dizzy standing up to fast, and cough up all sorts of fun gunk.

I get up around 4, work till 3ish. Come home & make dinner. Wait till my husband leaves for work. Finish watching what I was in the living room, then I move to the bedroom. Its currently 8pm and I have NyQuil in my belly, my laptop on my lap, and i’m laying in bed waiting for said NyQuil to kick in.

I just want to be healthy. Is that to much to ask?

It started off as a head cold. All stuffy, sneezy, coughy... etc. but now its move to a full body cold. As of this exact moment, as I'm typing, I'm having a serious dizzy spell and I feel like you do when you're a kid when you spin in circles really fast and then you stop spinning but the world still seems to spin around you. Yeah, That is happening to this 25 year old right now. WEIRDEST FEELING YET!

The Saga Continues

So this round of head ache's wound me in the ER.

After 3 days of fighting it off on my own and self medication, my husband ordered me to get dressed because he was taking me to the ER.

Friday I woke up with a slight headache. I met a friend for lunch, took some meds before i left, and went about my day. That night i settled down and it got worse. I took some more pills and then when I went to bed I took my night time pills.

Saturday I woke up with a SCREAMER of a head ache. I couldn't move, open my eyes, or itch with out being in crazy amounts of pain. I moved from my bed to the couch and thats about it. I spent the majority of the day asleep. I went to bed about 8 o'clock on saturday. I woke up at around 930 and lost all of the food I had taken in that day. Which wasn't much, it was mostly saltines and fluids. I texted B to let him know. He called me all worried.

On Sunday when I woke up and wasn't much better, B made the decision that I needed to go to the ER asap.



I was in the ER for 3 hours. I got 2 bags of IV Fluids and 3 rounds of IV meds.
The ER doc told me he thought that the dosage of my medication needed to be re worked. That or I need my night meds to be switched to a differant medication. Which i would prefer just for the simple fact that it aids in weight loss.
I was woozy and fairly doped up when i left the ER, I came home and forced myself to eat something. Then I went to bed. I slept so sound.

I woke up today feeling more like myself than I had an a week. I got more accomplished today then I have all week. I was still feeling a little tired, So I went to my math class, but left after my test. I came home and relaxed and studied for my big test in my history class tomorrow. I should be asleep now. But, I think with all the sleeping I've done the last 3 days its kinda caught up to me a bit.

Tomorrow is my long day of classes. I have my hardest class 930 - 1220 and then my interior design snooze fest from 2-530

I will try and make it through all day with out taking my meds because they make it hard to concentrate, but I'm hoping I won't need them!

I also have to call the doctors office to make a follow up appointment to my ER visit. Hopefully at that point we can re address my meds.

Mister sandman... bring me a dream

No seriously, please let me sleep.

Today/Tonight my head hurts so bad.

I went to sleep last night with a minor head ache. I thought between the stressful week, loads of homework, and lack of sleep somewhere in the mix is the cause of my minor head ache.

I accidentally slept in till 11 am. I went to bed at 2 (not for lack of trying) so i wasn't to worried about it. The part that bothered me was that I woke up with a head ache. I took 2 of my 'day' pills before I left to run errands at noon. I started to feel better about 1-2ish. by 7 my head ache was back in full force.

its now midnight, I've taken 2 more 'day pills' and my night pill (not all at the same time) and my head hurts so bad that I'm nauseous, I have saltines next to my bed to help settle my tummy. It hurts so bad it my molars and jaw joint hurts.

Ugh. I want desperately to go to sleep, just to get away from this pain.
B is still saying that I'm not getting enough water, even though the doctor said its not the reason. I'll still up my water intake anyways.
B also said that the reason my pills take so long to kick is is that I take them on a full stomach. I get that, but it was engraved in my head growing up that your always supposed to eat when you take anything.

I guess its just me, the pup and late night TV (currently its on Teen Mom2)

Me and Sammy
He makes everything a little bit better!

Oh for the love of pup's

Oh what a day I had. I've had some rough days since B left. But none (in my opinion) was more tasking than today.

This morning I wake up (before my alarm mind you) to my poor baby whimpering and whining. So I call for him to get up on the bed. I still have my eyes closed because I have another 10 min before my alarm goes off. I love my sleep, if I don't have to open my eyes, its not happening. My poor little guy tried to get up on the bed 4 times, before he jumped, failed, and yelps in pain. :(

So I pick him up, I talk to him (yeah, I'm pet that owner), and he was so sad looking.
I had a class today, which I had planned on skipping to take Sammy to the vet. But when I looked up the class calendar I saw I had a quiz. Well... fuck. I can't leave him alone. And I can't miss my class.

whats a girl to do!?! I call and wake up my daddy. hahahahahaha.

I told him what was going on and asked if he could watch SamJam for me. Of course he says yes.
On my way to campus, I called and made him an appointment at the vet @1230.

I went to class, took my quiz, and ducked out early to go pick up Sammy. When I got to my parents house he was just fine. my dad made him jump onto the Life-Force-Stealing Chair, and he was fine(this is when I think he over did it) but i took my dad's advice and called the vet and canceled my appointment.

I took him home. I let him down and out of the car, let him walk in the grass... then it became time to climb the stairs to our apartment. he made it about 2 steps before he stopped and cried.
So I carried him upstairs called the vet back, and told them I was bringing him in.

1230 rolls around and I take him in. I'm sitting in the vet room, and reading. Sam's curled up in my lap. The vet comes in and checks him out, there is seriously nothing physically wrong with him. I could have told you that (and i did tell her that). I looked him over, poked, pushed, prodded him before I even left for class. We talked over the options, and with her suggestions and the fact that I have drill this weekend, I decided to hand Sams over to her and let her do her tests.

4 hours later, I go to pick him up and talk to her about the results. It all looked "pretty normal" to use her words. He had "crystals" in his UA slides. And was walking normal. his blood work is normal.

Her diagnosis is that he's having some back issues. Which is really REALLY common in doxies.

So now he's on anti-inflammatory pills and is on strict kennel only instructions all weekends. I called my dad (they're babysitting him while I have drill) and told him to put up "The Cage". its a larger kennel that used to hold both my dad's doxies (with room to spare). I'll have to take pictures of him when I drop him off. Its a lot of room for him to walk around in. Yet, not enough space to hurt himself.

the vet said no: running, jumping, climbing, rough housing with other dog, no playing, no going up or down stairs, etc. Basically he's grounded to his kennel other than when my dad takes him out (carries him) to go potty.

Hopefully he's better when i get home Sunday night. everyone say a puppy prayer today.

Holy Ouch

So the spot on my leg is healing nicely. I over did it on Saturday, but its closing and healing perfectly.

But.... holy band aid burn. owie.

Because of the sensitive area its in, there's a very limited amount of 'arrangements' you can place a band aid.

Tonight i saw that it had closed up enough to switch to a smaller size.

TMI:
.
.
.
.
.
.
I actually peeled up a piece of skin along with the band aid.

I need a band aid for the spot that i had a bandaid. hahahahaaha.

I have NO Idea how I'm going to be able to wear pants tomorrow. jeebus....
I'm going to have to wear my ultra fat pants tomorrow.

Not fun my friends, not fun at all..

Tiny Health Scare

So this week was 'That appointment'. The one appointment every year that woman dread.

Since my doctor was already going down south, I decided to talk to her about this mole I had on my upper inner thigh. Think right where your inner thigh, butt cheek, and groin all meet.

We have a lot of cancer in my family. Most recently my Great Uncle (mom's uncle) died of complications from lung cancer. My Grandmother (mom's mom) has non-severe skin cancer. She gets 'chunks' of skin removed every 4-6 months.

so needless to say I'm very aware. I check my moles, I check my breasts, etc.

I brought this to her attention was strange for 2 reasons:
1) It had developed in less than a year
2) It extended past the normal skin layer.

After the normal pap, she took a closer look at the mole.

She decided to remove it so she could send it in for testing.

Nothing says "have a good day" like an anesthesia shot to the vagina at 8 am.

hahahaha.

No it wasn't actually on my vagina, but a lot closer to it than I ever wanted.

I don't think I've ever said "fuck" that loud in my whole life. I apologized and then kept my fucks to an inside voice.

The 1st shot hurt soooooooooooo bad (10 out of 10). the 2ND one hurt, but not as bad (7 out of 10). The 3rd shot wasn't bad, just a little pinch (2 out of 10).

I told her to tell me when she was done, because I didn't want to look.
I was really proud, I didn't cry at all.
I got teary eyed with the anticipation, but during the actual procedure - no tears (but lots of "fucks")
B thinks I 'passed out' and don't remember crying. He doesn't think its believable that I didn't cry.

So I'm a little worried, just because it developed so quickly. But I trust my doctor when she says don't worry about it. She IS sending it in, just in case, but she seriously doubts its anything.

So I currently have a rather large bandage in a very inconvenient spot.
Tonight is the first time I changed the bandage (I put it off a little long). I was finally able to see what it looked like.

I have a 1/4" circle chunk of skin missing. because of the angle, I can't see how deep it is. The doctor said i have to keep it covered and dry until it "fills in" so I think it might be a bit deeper than I expected.

for what its worth, i think after this i can get a wax NO PROBLEM!

What a Weekend & Update (Part III)

So Thursday i had PT, and there was a bunch of young guys. I had a "deep tissue" massage. it hurt like a bisnatch.

I apparently have scar tissue developing between my layer of skin and my layer of muscle so he had 'break it up'. oh...my... god. not a fun feeling. not a fun feeling at all. my appointment was late that evening.

Then Friday i had an early PT appointment. It went a little better. she did the ultrasonic, and then the elecrostimulator (i call it electroshock). it was simple but still still hard.

on my health front... I'm not doing so great.
Thursday morning i felt a little off, but because of the meds I'm taking for my neck i can't take day quill or NyQuil.

Friday got worse and worse as the day went on

Friday night was B's friend's birthday so we went down town for his birthday. i didn't drink at all. i was driving and drinking on my meds is a BAD idea.

then i woke up on Saturday and felt terrible. and I've basically been moving between my side of the bed and the couch. its just this terrible cough, my throat is raw and its just no fun.

so today I've updated my reading wish list, my goodreads profile (notice the new widget). and do a bunch of other really POINTLESS stuff on the computer.

lol.
that's my update.

An Update

so Wednesday i went for my follow up appointment with the new doctor.

I'm still in the neck collar. Stupid stupid neck collar.

I'm on super restricted duty... and it sucks.

No sitting, walking, standing for longer than 30 min
No running, jumping, squatting.
No lifting more than 5lbs.
no push ups
no sit ups
no anything

IT BLOWS!
I'm telling you! i' miss the gym.
I miss it. I'm so serious!

so here i sit, on my bum. Wanting to go to the gym... sipping my diet coke... and watching Julie & Julia.

::sigh::

I had to reschedule my duty this weekend. and to be honest i'm BORED! I really enjoy my duty. but i'll update you guys on that i a few.

::larger sigh::

Feel Them Up Ladies

I know I'm a little late on this one, but October Is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month! I have been blessed with not having anyone in my immediate family have breast cancer. My mother has a spot in each breast that is being watched. She gets mammogram every 6 months to ensure they don't develop into a cancerous cell. I do however work with a breast cancer survivor and she's one of the bravest women i know.

Aside from non-melanoma skin cancer, breast cancer is the most common form of cancer in women. Breast cancer is the number one cause of cancer death in Hispanic women. It is the second most common cause of cancer death in white, black, Asian/Pacific Islander, and American Indian/Alaska Native women. (cdc)

According to the network for strength: Breast cancer is the second leading cause of cancer death in women, after lung cancer.

One out of eight American women who live to be 85 years of age will develop breast cancer, a risk that was one out of 14 in 1960.

The National Breast Cancer Foundation states:When breast cancer is detected early (localized stage), the 5-year survival rate is 98%

Yes, i pulled most of the information off other sites, but there are 2 things i'm sure of. 1) breast cancer is a huge risk to all women of any race. 2) early detection is key! Self breast exams, mamograms, and a healthy lifestyle are huge.

So feel them up girls! save those tatas!!

Obsession Tuesday

I have a differant kind of Obsession Tuesday post for you guys

This is about SPARK PEOPLE! I'm so in love with this site!

About Sparkpeople:

At SparkPeople, our mission is to SPARK millions of PEOPLE to reach their goals and lead healthier lives. We offer nutrition, health, and fitness tools, support, and resources that are 100% free, while other sites like Weight Watchers and eDiets.com charge their members for similar services.

Our weight loss program teaches people to stop dieting and transition to a permanent, healthy lifestyle. Far beyond just weight loss, SparkPeople helps everyone learn to eat better and exercise regularly—for life. And people who don’t want to lose weight can still join and benefit from SparkPeople's tools, resources and community features. In addition to informative articles and interactive tools, such as fitness trackers and meal plans, members can find support and encouragement from our vibrant, positive community of members and experts.

All the components of our program mix in an element of fun so that our members truly do stick with their programs. With millions of members, we’ve witnessed thousands of success stories firsthand. We’ve found that using sound nutrition and regular exercise as a “springboard” for success helps our members find greater enjoyment in life and strive for even more goals, creating their own real-life adventures!

This place allows you to track your work outs, track your food and drink intake (it has a vast catalog of foods and drinks with calories and nutrition facts included, but you can add your own). It has a weight tracker so you can monitor and update where you're at. It also has TON's of Recipies and work out ideas. It has demo's and exersise plans for anyone and everyone!! I'm SOOO SO SO in love with this site.

I highly recommend this site to anyone who's looking at becoming healthier and living healthier.

If you have a spark people, let me know. Maybe we can create a little blog-group. and support and motivate each other.

If you haven't visited spark people... you need to!

Moldy Eye

this is what my lovely friend has named my eye issue! lol.

So i went to my primary care physician. She perscribed some antibiotic eye drops.

My eye wasn't getting any better. So i went to an optometrist.

1) he's a jerk
2) his office is full of hoyty-toyty snatches
3) I'm fine.

I called and got an appointment. The secrasnatch told me to be there at 8:30 to have time to fill out paperwork. I got there at 8:30, everything was locked up. I stood there for a while and waited... and waited... and waited! she finally got there at 8:50. Grrr! I hate people who are late. It annoys me!

Then the doc was an A-Hole! i tried to be funny, he made me feel like i was waisting his time. And he did nothing but tell me I'm fine. and then shoo'd me from the room.

but i did find out i have an old scar on my cornea. I thought that was interesting, so i asked how that happens. I was told... and i quote "just like you get any other scar" end quote. WTF DUDE! so not helpful.

I should have canceled and worked those 2 hours. he's an effer, he has an office full of effers, blech!

but my eye is so much better. I'm still using the drops. i lay on a hot pad at the end of the day, and that's been helping a lot.

so ends the story of the moldy eye!!

Leave It To Me...

So... I have an infected eye!

WTF! who gets an infected eye?!? oh yah.. ME!

okay so this is really really embaresing, but i figure what the hell, i'll share. I got a toenail in my eye.

I came home from drill and was clipping my nails. and poof. one in the eye.

I got it out right away, well i woke up monday and my eye was all sore. on tuesday i went to the doctor and got antibiotic eye drops. and it still hurts

So friday i have an eye doctor appointment.

Dude, it freaking hurts to blink!
TO BLINK!
you never realize how much you mother effing blink untill it hurts. GAH!

and the worst part is B's O.O.T till at least friday. and its looking like saturday.
I hate it.

leave it to me to do something this lame.

Lets Bring It Down For a Moment

So I have come to a Conclussion...


Cancer is the great equalizer.

It doesn't matter your age, race, back ground, what you did in your past, who you are. Cancer is the greatest equalizer i know of.

I just found out one of the most amazing men in my life has end stage lung cancer. My Great Uncle Ken. I am tearing up as i type this. I love him. He so does not deerve this.

Don't get me wrong. I love my parents. BUT my Uncle Ken and my Aunt Henrieta are what i want to model my marriage after. They have been married for almost 60 years. And they are more in love than anyone i've ever seen.

My Uncle is a good man. He doesn't deserve the end of cancer. I feel so useless. So helpless. I hate it.

I hope he knows how much i love him and how much him and my aunt mean to me! I understand that there's a grand scheme of things, but this... this... this just doesn't make since.


So i'm going to post a bunch of pictures. But i want to give the background first.
When me and B got married my aunt had fallen and broken her hip. We weren't sure if they were going to make it. So I went thru getting ready, the ceremony and everything thinking that they were with me in heart, but not in body. then:

I see them in line!

And I cry Happy Tears that they are there.


And he tells me how happy he is for me and how much he loves me.

And We hug!!

And B. Like the loving husband he is, trys to understand. Lol.

My uncle Ken Is AMAZING!!

This is Me and my Aunt Hank at their 50th Wedding Anniversary when i was in High School. She's Full Eskimo and I Love her more than sunshine. She's an Amazing Light for the world to see.

Home sick

I promised I've sanitized my blog before posting. so you can proceed.

So yesterday i woke up not feeling that great. just all around icky. So i go to work as normal. around 1pm i get seriously sick. So i wrap up my duties, and get the okay to go home.

I come home from work and B says to me: "its weird you're sick. we haven't been hanging around anyone who's sick." i look at him, blink a couple times and reply, "there's this little thing called work, there are these people there that i see almost daily. these people have things called germs. those are the people that come to work sick, and got me sick."
silly husband.

but I'll be updating my blog a lot today hopefully. that is between my drug induced self coma's on the couch. i need to make some coffee, the thought of something warm to drink is awfully inviting at the moment.