Oh, The Fear

So I have a confession.


I have Dipsophobia
I am desperately, insanely, crazily afraid of the Dentist.
You know how some people fear riding in planes, spiders, etc. I fear the dentist.

I had a bad incident when I was a kid where they drilled before I was numb.
Then long stretches of not having dental insurance so I always had cavities.
Those 2 coupled with some serious anxiety normally and you get some serious catatonic fear.

I thought I had finally kicked the fear when we were still back home.
I had found a really really amazing dentist. They just opened an office around the corner from our old apartment. Plus the dentists first and last names were the same as my husbands first and middle name.
A freaking sign, right?
He was amazing. He totally understood my fear. He was so helpful.

So, I felt pretty good when I moved down here. I made an appointment to go to a local dentist. And it was an EPIC FAILURE!!

First, the office was really hard to find.
Second, I had to wait in the office for over 20 minutes past my appointment time
Third, When they finally called me back, the tech was rough when she took my x-rays and then I seriously sat around for over an hour. then the tech complained about how small my teeth were and then the dentist was really forceful. she wanted me to wait another hour and come back and have something done. I left, cried, and never went back. 

But now the military has said I need a note from my Civilian Dentist. So...fuck.
A new dentist opened up not to far from the house. I thought i'd give them a chance.

I'm freaking out. B, isn't here. I have no one here.
I am slightly freaking out.
By slightly I mean I'm majorly having panic attacks on the inside.

The summer of crazy

So this summer is already starting ot look like its going to be insane. Between my schedule, B's schedule, leave, pending deployment, etc.  we'll be lucky to make it though with only slight mental damage. 

get this:

May 9th - 2 Finals

May 10th -1 Final 

May 11th - 1 Final

May  14th - 2 Finals

May 16th @ 0800 graduation practice

May 16th @ 0820 parents arrive (little brother will be here around this time)

May 16th @ 1700 graduation

May 17th - Parents leave

May --  - B leaves

May 25th  -  I leave

May -- @ some point  - B comes home

** B goes back on nights at work

May 28th - I come home

June 2/3 - Drill

June --  B leaves

June --  B comes home

June 30th - anniversary

July 6-8th drill

July -- - B's birthday

July 16-19 - On leave - probably camping

July 29th I leave

August 3rd I come home

Aug 4/5 Drill

Aug 7-16 - On leave - Probably camping up back home.

September/October 2012  -- B is deployed

 ugh. My anxiety is out of control about all of this.

What I've been up too...

So I knew when i registered for this term and bit the bullet of the course load that It would be tough. but phew..... what a roller coaster.

I love my classes, but they are an "event". Its a marathon of assignments, work, personalities, lectures, drawings, research, and a lot of snark (mostly from me). One of my favorite Prof. called me "Snarky spice" a couple weeks ago. If the shoe fits... wear it. hahaha.

I feel like I am finally coming into my own. I have friends at school, which I didn't think would happen. Not because they're awful, but I am socially awkward and a bit abrasive at times (to put it mildly). But I am really enjoying a lot of peoples personalities and ideas. I mean, don't get me wrong there are a couple of people I want to throat punch so they can still function and be in class, but are unable to speak. I mean if you are in a design class and have to ask what a "diagonal line" is, you're in the wrong profession.

But, back to my main point. When we moved down here I was really afraid of not finding people I clicked with, but this year it all clicked into place. I know my stuff in these classes, I do my work, I do the research and back work, and people seem to notice which is nice. There are people who message me on facebook and email to get my opinions and to ask questions because they know i'll respond before the Prof.

One of our Prof has a different teaching style (to say the least). But he and I speak the same language. So after class or even in class (via Facebook) I more or less 'translate' for him. haha. I wish I was lying, but its true. The students in this class have this need to have all expectations and guidelines for each and every assignment spelled out for them. Unfortunately, in that thought process they make some assignments much more difficult than they really are. So I kind of play the in between, I know i probably shouldn't, but I feel bad.

Oh, and I got really good news.....
::drum roll:
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I GOT MY GRADUATION INFORMATION ::squeeeeeeeeee::

I graduate May 16th!

I can't freaking wait!

I have been going to school off and on for this degree since 2007. Thank you Uncle Sam for the severe delay. but I can't freaking wait!!!

Oh, I wanted to show you some of my designs I have been working on.