Newest episode of D, A, and deadbeat T

So this is the newest episode in my BFF A's baby daddy drama. I have started calling them episodes because they seem be dramatic enough for any day time soap opera.

Okay, so last night i get a text last night saying
"OMG! T's (her husband) Mom was watching our son today cuz the sitter was sick and she took him to her moms and isn't home with him and its 8pm and she didn't ask WTF?"

Then i say"oh no"

Then she says"yeah. T told me to shut up and stop having a period that it doesn't matter that she didn't let us know"

then i say"he just doesn't get it"

sooooooooooooo fast forward to this morning. and she's back peddling.
So i texted her this morning and ask her what happened. Hoping to get more info.
she says"His mom took D to M-city to T's gma's house but didn't tell us and wouldn't answer her phone."

I asked what time they got back. She says 830 (FYI she works till ten).

then she says"So i call at 8 on my break like always and ask how D (baby) is. T's reply was i don't know. And i was like what do you mean and he went i don't know where he is. And then i was like i wish she would ask or at least tell us because that's not right. and T tells me to shut up and stop having a period he's fine. "

then i say"i would have freaked out"
A: "i tried not to"
Me: "well your stronger than me at that"
A: "I have to be"
ME: " you don't have to put up with that"(here's what gets to me)
A: "i know that. and i wont. i let her know that i want to be told she is taking my son somewhere all day and night and as for tim, he can just talk with out thinking"
ME: "you shouldn't be worried or treated like that"
A: " exactly. i made it clear to both of them" (which i highly doubt)
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What do i say to this? i know she deserves better. i know this isn't a good environment for her and her baby. but how do i help with out pushing her away...i'm at a loss. once again