Monday, January 16, 2012 0 comments

Doctors who never agree.

Its kind of insane when you think about how Doctor A will see you on monday, and diagnose you with XYZ. You see Doctor B on Friday, and he cancels out what Doctor A said and changes your meds as well. 

After seeing about a dozen different doctors over the last year. You can imagine how many different medications I have been on.

It wasn't until late may when I was finally able to see the 'assigned' primary care physician that I was assigned. Dr. S was so amazing. He was the first person who ever seemed genuinely interested in what was the cause of the problem and wanted to get to the bottom of my issue.

He was the one that requested the MRI & the sleep study. 
He had his nurse call me every couple weeks to keep tabs on how I was feeling, how the medication was working, etc. It was nice to have someone 'on my side'. 

The down side to being seen by a military doctor is they get deployed. so because of this I have had to see another round of new doctors. 

I feel like I have got back to ground zero with the doctors now. In December I felt that my headache frequency were increasing rapidly and I was really afraid to go back to how bad it was in the beginning of the year. 

I called and made an appointment with a new doctor. I went in and the guy was a terrible doctor. He was the type who doesn't listen to what you have to say. He gave me yet another 'neurological' test, and told me to continue taking my meds. It was seriously a waste of time.

So now here we are. 1 year since the start of my migraines, taking medication like its going out of style, and waiting for my doctor to get back from deployment so I can actually see someone who cares.

Sunday, January 15, 2012 0 comments

2011 The Year Of The ER Visit

    I  was talking today on Facebook to my friend. He asked what I was doing. To which i replied, "blogging. sort of". Of course this prompted the response: "sort of?". So I explained, when I say I'm going to blog it takes, 30 minutes to actually type out what I want to say, and 2-3 hours of doing everything but blogging to build up the courage to actually blog.

So, here I am, laying in bed with approximately an hour left on my laptop battery, still at a loss on how to start this blog post. Yet, it seems by not 'starting' I have already gotten it started. talk about a mind fuck. haha

I titled this blog post "2011 The Year Of The ER Visit", because that's really how I feel about the year.

January - May are a blur. Its hard for me to put into words exactly how hard these 5 months were for me.

My headaches/migraine journey started in January 2011. I've always had headaches. My mother and grandma get them, so I always thought of them as hereditary. When I got them before I could take a couple Excedrin, take a nap, and I would be good to go. These new headaches were so different. This was a new pain I had never felt before. This pain was all encompassing. It takes over your body like a climbing vine takes over a brick wall.

I can remember in early Jan during one of my first battles with the pain, I was sitting on the floor of my husbands office. I can't tell you why I was in the room, just that I wanted to be near him. I was sitting on the floor, with my back against the wall, with my head on my knees, I was in so much pain. I couldn't eat, because chewing was to painful. I couldn't drink because the sound of swallowing was to much. Not to mention the constant nausea that was created by the pain.

It was very weird when they first started. Because I didn't know (and still don't know) what causes them. Sometimes the migraines didn't follow the same 'path' per-say. When the first started I felt so useless. I didn't have the medication to stop them, I couldn't function with them, and I felt like no one understood just how bad they really were. I felt like no one would take me seriously and understand just how badly I hurt.

The pain was different. Most of the time the pain starts at my right temple and spreads from there. Its like a forest fire, it just spreads until it has consumed everything in its path. It spreads across the top of my head, down behind my eyes, across my jaw and down my body. Other times it starts behind my eye balls and feels like someone is constantly pushing on the back of my eye ball, and the pain spreads from there. Sometimes I can feel the pain creeping, or feel it sort of starting, and then I can catch it with a pill and stop it before it even starts.

Other times, i'm not so lucky. These are the worst. The 'other' is when it feels like someone took a 2x4 to the side of my head and the migraine hits me out of no where. Its like some set weights on both shoulders and on the top of my head. The constant pressure and pain takes the wind right out of your sails. These are the worst of the worst.

Between January - May, I was in the ER 5 times. I was in the ER 2times in Jan and 1 time in Feb, Mar, and May. These months were such a blur of pain, needles, pills, doctors, ER visits, ice packs, and more pain. I had my blood drawn every 6 weeks, (and still do) because they found my thyroid was "significantly under active". I was bounced from doctor to doctor. Every time I called to make an appointment, I was assigned to a new doctor. I lost track of how many doctors I have seen after the 12th new face.

This is me during the sleep study
I finally got to see the doctor who was my "assigned" primary care physician. He prescribed several medications and several tests.

I went in and had a sleep study conducted. They found I had a slight snore, but that was it. No sleep apnea, no weird findings.

I had an MRI done. Again no findings nothing wrong.

I completed food journal after food journal after food journal. Its to the point now that I just write down everything I ate, did, didn't do, took, drank, etc in a journal before I go to bed. Because I know its just a matter of time before I get assigned another doctor and they make me start all over again.

During this constant battle with the pain and trying to keep that under control, I was also back in school. So September I moved 600 miles away from my family, was re-united with my husband, had to find a place to live, started school again, and was fighting a constant battle with my head. To say I was stressed was an understatement. I thank god for the classes I had during this battle. I broke down on my last day of my Materials & Techniques class. I told them that if it wasn't for them and their unquestioning support during this hard time, I wouldn't have passed. And it was so true. I struggled so hard to stay afloat during that term.

During spring term '11 I was either in debilitating pain, or fairly drugged up and between those 2 options it made school work/going to school a lot harder for me. I was seeing so many doctors and having my medication tweaked each time. I now take more pills than my 87 year old grandmother. Its slightly insane the amount of medication I take.

These are the medications that I take. I'm currently trying to get off of some of them. But at this point I need all of them. 
I take:
Maxalt ( or 'before' I get a headache)
Ultram (for 'after' the headache starts)
Synthroid (for my thyroid)
Percocets (for when the ultram doesn't work) 
Phenogren (anti-nausea pill)
Periactin (at night its half for allergies and half for migraines)
Nasonex (nose spray for allergies) 
and of course my birth control. 
So in 1 day I can take up to 7 different pills. This is more than slightly insane.

So now you know most of the back story about my migraine battle. I'll try and go into more depth about what the doctors have said, what I am doing, and what I have tried. 

It has been a long year. Its hard to talk about all the details of the year because the details are so blurry. The dates and times are all blurred in a drugged up pain ridden mess in my head. 

Its amazing how many people have reached out to me through out this last year to me. I want to reach out to anyone else who had had headaches, migraines, tension headaches, sinus headaches, etc. I want you all to know, I know how it feels and I am here for you.

Thursday, January 12, 2012 0 comments

My Journey with Migraine Headaches

   As you guys know I've been battling a fairly complex battle with migraines. The battle has been going on for over a year now and I have been swaying back and forth on what to write, how to go about documenting my battles, and so on. I've talked to people about it, I've tweeted about it (@IamMrsRotty), I've been over and over it in my head.  The best advice I got was from my friend Miranda. She said "If it's part of you, it's worth blogging about." 

I have to remember that this is my blog and it is for me. I shouldn't worry if I come across as whiny, or poor me. I feel like I need to get this battle down and documented. I want to be able to remember years from now what happened and how if felt, what I went through, and that I was able to make it though.

I feel like I need to start this with a little preface. Part of my issue with my headaches is how all encompassing the pain is. The details get a bit fuzzy and a little hard to remember. I'm going to be pulling from my tumblr account, prior blog posts, and memories to try and make the dates as accurate as possible.

In the small amount of research I've done, I've learned quite a bit. I know I need to do more research and investigate other methods, treatments, triggers, etc. I need to be my own advocate, but sometimes that is easier said then done. 

I have learned that 25% of women and 8% of men get migraines sometime in their lifetime. The majority of migraine sufferers are between the ages of 25-50. While this seems like a large window, this is actually kind of a key detail for me, because my first migraine started just short of 6 months after my 25th birthday.

I think that I'm going to break this story/journey into pieces. I know that long blog posts are hard to read and while i am writing this for me mostly, i still want to make it 'readable' . 

I'm still building up the courage to open up completely about the pain, the doctors, the being ignored, the medication, the struggles with school work and military work, the struggles to get back to a normal schedule, etc. There is so much that I have gone through in the last year that has stemmed from these migraines.

So please bear with me as I try to open up and wade through my journey with migraines.

That is me in the midst of one of my many battles.
Thursday, January 5, 2012 0 comments

Lost in though

I have had quite a bit on my mind lately. I feel like when I don't blog for a prolonged period of time it takes a while to get back.

I struggle to find the words to be able to put everything I am feeling down onto one blog. I feel lost in my own thoughts. I focus on one task at a time. I find solace in organizing paperwork and cleaning to a new extreme. I distract.

I'm currently in my bed with a laptop and a remote. The pup is passed out on the husbands side of the bed. The husband is at work.

I know none of this makes sense but i just don't know what else to write. Its coming out in stages and in broken thoughts and in garbled ideas.

I  have a lot of ideas for blogs and for where i want to take this blog.

  • I want to blog about my anxiety and my struggles to overcome it
  • I want to blog about my battle with migraines. 
  • I want to blog about my clumsiness  so you all can laugh along with me. 
  • I want to blog about my new found love for the Big Bang Theory
  • I want to blog about my Christmas projects (a little late, i know)
  • I want to blog about my struggles with my weight and how I'm taking control. 
  • I want to blog about how I just bawled over an episode of Grey's Anatomy
  • I want to blog about how my best friend in the planet who I love more than anything and is the mother of the amazing godson of mine is in a desperate cycle of mental and verbal abuse from a sleezy guy with a 15 letter 2 vowel first name who should thank his lucky stars i'm 600 miles away. 
  • I want to blog about the ups and downs of being a military wife
  • I want to blog about school. 
  • I want to tell you guys that I just got my first 4.0 ever. (I called my mommy and cried happy tears).
  • I want to blog about my troops and how happy and frustrated they make me on a daily basis
  • I want to blog about the serious spins I get when I take my meds (currently the room is spinning around me)

There is so much. I know I need to take it one step at a time, one blog at a time, one topic at a time. but there it is.

Also, I love my blog layout but i feel its a bit busy for me right now. So i will be on the hunt for a new lay out.

Any suggestions?
Any thoughts?