Wednesday, February 23, 2011 1 comments

Sometimes there are no words..

So I don't remember if I posted on this topic or not.

My BFF A has a scuzzy evil boy friend/fiance. It really depends on what day of the week it is on their status.

When I say scuzzy, I don't mean dead beat dad or a lazy ass loser. I'm talking about a verbally abusive, manipulative, ass hole of EPIC proportions.

He's told A that She's a terrible mother, that D is a horrid kid and its all her fault. He's told her that no one will ever love her like he does and that the only men that she will find will fuck her and leave her like the trash she is.... and so on... and so on...

They live together in a 2 bedroom apartment, that he pays for. but the second bedroom isn't for D, OH NO! That is his office 'his space'. So D sleeps in the same room as them.

I could go on, but i'll stop there.

On Thursday my BFF A left her scuzzy BF/Fiance

that night he got mad over something small, threw her phone against the wall (the one D sleeps against). and said if she didn't do what he said, he'd kick them out, this was at 3 am and she has to get up at 530 for work.

He showed up at her work the next day bringing the crazy all up in the lobby of her work. demanding that she give him her keys so he could take their car home and move all her shit out.

She showed up at their place with her mom (left D (my amazing god son)at her moms place) and moved the majority of her stuff out.

he cried, and begged, etc.
He even went as far as to take out a gun (wtf) and threaten to kill himself.
He gave her his old phone, so he could be in contact with her. She took it because her moms place doesn't have a land line.

She left, and is at her moms place. (her mom is all moved out and living with her boyfriend), so she has a month to find a new place before their lease is up.

He called/texted her begging.
His friend texted/posted on FB that he's in the hospital with chest pains. Apparently he has high blood pressure.
They diagnosed him with an anxiety attack and doped him up. his friend says he keeps asking for her.

I call bull shit/mind games.

She's free financially of him once she gets her tax return (she's getting close to 5000).

I wish I could say I was surprised, but I'm not.
She took him back.
She found out last night he cheated on her 2x
but he threatened to go home to Thailand. and she freaked out about him leaving.

She honest to goodness said "If I can get him to agree to go to therapy, I can fix this"
I just want her to be free of him.
But he'll be good for a couple days. and she'll let her self soften up to him. and the cycle will just repeat.

This makes me sad beyond words. Like my post title suggests. Sometimes there are no words.
I can't let myself be sucked into it any more.
I have to distance myself.

I'm far enough away now that I can't physically help her anymore. but my heart just can't take the drama.

I swear to all that is holy, that if she tells me that he's verbally abusing her again, or he starts a verbal tirade I'm calling CPS.
No one is looking out for that little boy. I love him with every fiber of my being and he is my one and only priority in this fucked up situation.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011 0 comments

lets talk about school

First, Rotty's Headache Watch 2011 - Update - I have a follow up appointment tomorrow at 830am with a doctor to follow up on my ER visit. Hopefully they'll adjust my meds and make it so *that* never ever happens again.

So I've had a love hate (mostly hate) relationship with this school. I've been frustrated and fighting with them to get my GI bill situated. Along with the frustrations figuring the school out, getting registered, buying books etc.

Today I found out the my major department is being drastically cut back. The one major class that I needed for the fall I found out isn't being offered, nor do they know when they will offer it again.

This just adds to the frustration I've felt getting transferred to a degree program that was significantly lacking compared to my last school. And now not only am I taking classes that might not be needed for the next school I go to, but I have to go through this whole process all over again.

And the school is further away to boot. It's just a crap-tastic- situation all around.

But lets end this post on a good note. I do love tuesdays for one reason: Lunch int he sunshine
Just me in the car, the radio on low, my book, and the sunshine for a whole hour. no chores, no homework, no worries! Just sunshine and reading.
Monday, February 7, 2011 0 comments

The Saga Continues

So this round of head ache's wound me in the ER.

After 3 days of fighting it off on my own and self medication, my husband ordered me to get dressed because he was taking me to the ER.

Friday I woke up with a slight headache. I met a friend for lunch, took some meds before i left, and went about my day. That night i settled down and it got worse. I took some more pills and then when I went to bed I took my night time pills.

Saturday I woke up with a SCREAMER of a head ache. I couldn't move, open my eyes, or itch with out being in crazy amounts of pain. I moved from my bed to the couch and thats about it. I spent the majority of the day asleep. I went to bed about 8 o'clock on saturday. I woke up at around 930 and lost all of the food I had taken in that day. Which wasn't much, it was mostly saltines and fluids. I texted B to let him know. He called me all worried.

On Sunday when I woke up and wasn't much better, B made the decision that I needed to go to the ER asap.

I was in the ER for 3 hours. I got 2 bags of IV Fluids and 3 rounds of IV meds.
The ER doc told me he thought that the dosage of my medication needed to be re worked. That or I need my night meds to be switched to a differant medication. Which i would prefer just for the simple fact that it aids in weight loss.
I was woozy and fairly doped up when i left the ER, I came home and forced myself to eat something. Then I went to bed. I slept so sound.

I woke up today feeling more like myself than I had an a week. I got more accomplished today then I have all week. I was still feeling a little tired, So I went to my math class, but left after my test. I came home and relaxed and studied for my big test in my history class tomorrow. I should be asleep now. But, I think with all the sleeping I've done the last 3 days its kinda caught up to me a bit.

Tomorrow is my long day of classes. I have my hardest class 930 - 1220 and then my interior design snooze fest from 2-530

I will try and make it through all day with out taking my meds because they make it hard to concentrate, but I'm hoping I won't need them!

I also have to call the doctors office to make a follow up appointment to my ER visit. Hopefully at that point we can re address my meds.

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Friday, February 4, 2011 0 comments

Mister sandman... bring me a dream

No seriously, please let me sleep.

Today/Tonight my head hurts so bad.

I went to sleep last night with a minor head ache. I thought between the stressful week, loads of homework, and lack of sleep somewhere in the mix is the cause of my minor head ache.

I accidentally slept in till 11 am. I went to bed at 2 (not for lack of trying) so i wasn't to worried about it. The part that bothered me was that I woke up with a head ache. I took 2 of my 'day' pills before I left to run errands at noon. I started to feel better about 1-2ish. by 7 my head ache was back in full force.

its now midnight, I've taken 2 more 'day pills' and my night pill (not all at the same time) and my head hurts so bad that I'm nauseous, I have saltines next to my bed to help settle my tummy. It hurts so bad it my molars and jaw joint hurts.

Ugh. I want desperately to go to sleep, just to get away from this pain.
B is still saying that I'm not getting enough water, even though the doctor said its not the reason. I'll still up my water intake anyways.
B also said that the reason my pills take so long to kick is is that I take them on a full stomach. I get that, but it was engraved in my head growing up that your always supposed to eat when you take anything.

I guess its just me, the pup and late night TV (currently its on Teen Mom2)

Me and Sammy
He makes everything a little bit better!
Thursday, February 3, 2011 1 comments

Ugh. PMS. Pissy Men Syndrom

Gah. B is on a fucking rampage tonight.

Right after I got home from class I was doing some chores around the house. He did the dishes last night while i did my homework. I said thank you for doing the dishes more than once.

So today I didn't have any rush homework, so I decided to clean out the fridge and do the dishes from the leftovers.

He walks in the kitchen (after I cleaned out the fridge, took out the garbage, took the cans to the curb, and was in the process of emptying the dishwasher) and says... "well, looks like you made short work of that!" Implying it didn't take me long to make the kitchen a mess agian.

Then after he got home from working out, he see's that I rented movies. He gets so upset that I rented movies. He tells me to stop spending money because we need to save money. I get it, but for FUCKING SERIOUS. its $17.00 every couple days. He works nights. there's only so much TV a girl can watch before she goes bizerk.

He can be so hard on me sometimes. I go in to his office to say I'm sorry and that I didn't realize that it was hurting us financially that much and I wouldn't rent so many next time. and he says... and i quote "yeah yeah... you didn't realize..." and goes back to his computer.

We hang out have dinner (I made roasted chicken breast and onion potatoes) watch a movie (The Other Guys) and everything seemed cool.

Then I couldn't get a jug of cranberry juice open, So I took it to B in his office to help.

He asks why i'm drinking cranberry juice, So i tell him. He asks "oh yah, whats in the freezer?" I say, "huh?" He says, "got some vokda did you?"

uh no... You told me last night that even 2 beers has an effect on my meds, why would I switch to hard alcohol?

I know he's just so tired, He doesn't normally act like this. But come on!

Its just that he needs sleep.

We were supposed to get our cable upgraded. The cable guy was supposed to be here around 2-4

he showed up (waking b up) at 115, waking B up. he normally sleeps until 4-430.

I love this man with all my heart but i'm so over today.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011 1 comments

I love this crazy, tragic, sometimes almost magic,

... Awful, beautiful life

This new schedule/life style is kicking my ass!!
I know that I signed up for it, yada yada yada. but this is my blog and I'll whine if i want to.

the past week and a half has been sort of a 'transition' of sorts.
This is my class schedule
Monday: Math 1-330
Tuesday: History/English 930-1220 & Interior Design (materials & techniques) 2-530
Wednesday: Math 1-330
Thursday: History/English 930-1220
(soon i'll have an online class to boot, it starts in March. Why? I have not a clue)

Doesn't seem to bad, right? .... if you answered right to that question you are WRONG!

Every Math class I have a review worksheet, then a quiz, and then lecture. Yep, Every class (2 times a week) I have a Quiz or a test.

My History/English class is a new type of class. Its a 2 part class. It is English 02 and History 037 together. Its called a 'learning community'. Its actually a really interesting class. But there is a lot of work involved. I take no less than 6 pages of notes per class period. This class has 3 required text books, so there is a lot of reading.

My Interior Design class is not at all what I had expected. I thought it would be like the M&T class back at PCC. This class is all about field trips to different locations and manufacturers. Each class we have a guest speaker or a tour to go on. This isn't so bad except they're located all over the area. After each class meeting we're required to write a paper on what we learned, experienced, or took away from what we did or saw. Very vague, very open ended, and VERY frustrating.

To top it all of I'm started getting these head shattering headaches. I went to the doctor and he gave me some new medications. All the over the counter mix and match was not working for me.

The doctor said that if the meds don't help with in a month, or if they get any worse I'll go back in and get some head and body scans done.

Its been a whirlwind, but i'm hoping this next week I'll be able to get into the grove and hopefully be able to find time to get back into the gym. I need the gym time to get some of my frustrations out.