Wednesday, December 5, 2012 0 comments

Come on...

I'm barley able to stay above water right now.

Not just with money, or homework, or military work. Honestly. Its everything. I haven't had more than 3 days alone since my husband left.
So I had my drill weekend (busy as fuck)
Then the week before B left
B leaving
had 1 day
Family came in for thanksgiving
Family leaves
Had a duty day
Back to school
Back to my internship
Drill weekend
Had 3 airmen at my house (Christmas party victims)
Had one day
Sister-in-law came into town for work, stayed with me.
She's headed back home.
Next I have
2 back to back doctors appointments
My military Course-9 end of course test (which i HAVE to pass, because its the only thing holding up my promotion)
and then the long treck home for the holidays.
I don't plan on staying there through new years. I'd rather be here. watching movies. alone. lol.

I'd like a break.
I'd like a phone call/video call from my husband that isn't rushed or over heard.
I'd like some time to breathe.

I'm not going to get it.
But its what I would like.....

Thursday, November 29, 2012 0 comments

stress. cause. effect. fuck

I am not a fan.

The worst part of this is:
1) at least half of my stress is due to my mother. Well, my mother and her bff Drama.
2) my other half of stress is unavoidable.  And my  comfort i usually had is half a world away.

he's busy doing important shit.
i don't want to bug him with my pitiful mama-drama.

i am over it.
Sunday, November 25, 2012 0 comments

Back to real life!

Time to get back to real life. While I had a blast with my family down here (I'll share pictures later). But I'm glad to be able to get back to real life.

I am back to eating healthy.
I made myself eat a bagel with non-fat cream cheese (better than not eating breakfast, or so they say). Having my non-starbucks coffee.

I'm surrounded by schoolwork and military work.

First: catch up with my online classes.
Second: study my CDC's.
On the TV is a Twilight Marathon the next will be Harry Potter.

Hi my name is Rotty, and I am a geek.

Monday, October 22, 2012 0 comments

Its about that time

So, the time that I have been dreading is rapidly approaching.

We are now far to close to my husbands deployment date than I feel is necessary. lol

Its a weird emotion for me.
I'm super excited for him to go. I know that he'll learn so much and get to do a lot of things we just can't do stateside.
but I don't want him to go. lol.
But I'm excited for him to leave because I have a lot to do this term and its hard to get all the time to do it when i'm trying to spend all the time I can with him.
but I don't want him to go.

You see what I mean?

But as much as I want him here. I'm super excited for him to get there.
plus he's ADD is out of.fucking.control.
and his deployment shit is fucking everywhere!!!

I'd like a clean house please.

Tuesday, October 9, 2012 0 comments

My husband got in a fight with a ZOMBIE!!!

No seriously!
He was!

Okay bear with me on this one, I can't make this shit up.

 So last night we went to 6 flags in Vallejo, CA and got tickets to Fright Night. We got the roller coasters and then at 6 the park switches over to "fright night" and all the zombies come out and the haunted houses open. It was really cool.

We went through one and it was a "miner" theme. It wasn't scary but more a "jump out of no where" type of thing. We were right behind a family with teenage girls so they got all the screams. I even offered my beer to one zombie. It was pretty good. 

We went through one that was a "pig slaughter" it was real Hills Have Eyes shit. NOT FUCKING FUNNY! Scared the fucking shit out of me. Bri got mad because I took the "chicken exit".

The third one we went to was a "junk yard" theme. It was pretty freaky, not going to lie.
We got through the most of it. and in the middle we went around a bend and there was a fence with 2 empty oil barrels. B saw the zombie and put himself between it and me. So the zombie jumps up to scare us and goes to hit the oil barrel with a steel pipe.... well he hit B instead.

Fucking swinging for the fences and NAILS B right across the top of his right wrist. The poor kid look petrified. he couldn't have been older then 17. he was so freaked out that B was going to hit him.

So I put on my bitch face and we booked it out of the house. we didn't get stopped by a single zombie the rest of the way out. We get to the end and tell the security guy what happened.
Then we waited.
Waited for the EMT (park rule).
Waited for the "lead" on this house.
Waited for the supervisor.
Waited for guest services. etc etc.

All we wanted was for the kid to be talked to and be more careful. I mean it could have been a small kid. and we wanted our money back. We still had 2.5 hours of park to go. It was such a cluster. 

The worse part is this can effect B's PT test and B's deployment. If he's on lifting restrictions, he can't do his job with a lifting restriction. then if he can't do his job, he can't get deployed. 

I mean its to fucking funny.
He has the best legit story

"DUDE what happened"
"Zombie Fight"

Thursday, September 20, 2012 0 comments

Hurt.. Again

So, for a long time i've put off going to the doctor for my toe.

In high school, I got a lot of ingrown toenails. But, I was always about to ”fix” them myself.

I figured given enough time, I could fix this one too. But when Sammy, my tiny dog, stepped on my toe and I was sure I was going to die... I figured it was time to go in.

Apparently it was pretty infected and had grown really deep in my toe.

But, I did ”grow a pair” and got it fixed. The lydocane (sp) was the wrist pain ever. it still hurts now, but it's a healing pain.


Amazing Opportunities

So life is so frustrating sometimes.
Allllllllllll summer I have been looking for and applying for jobs.

The first time I get a phone call back I was in Georgia for the military.

I was able to arrange an interview for when I came home. But  unfortunately, didn't get the job. Because I'm a military wife & my future is unstable, she ”didn't want to train me to work somewhere else”. And before you ask, no she technically can't do that. But 1) she has a point & 2) would I really want to fight it and force her to hire me, and possibly burn that bridge? The answer is: no.

I had another interview the week before school started. This place wasn't bad, but I didn't think it would challenge me. I knew I could do it. But the question was: did I want to?

The day after I had the interview, I found out I got the internship I really REALLY wanted.

The day after that, I got a job.

Soooooooooooooooo fuck.

I sat down and did the math for what the job  was offering in pay an hour, minus taxes, & minus gas (it was a 45 min drive each way). Then I made a list of pro's & cons for both the job and the internship. Then I called the internship to ask if it was paid... Which it wasn't.

Then I stressed about it. And over thought everything. Then stressed some more.

Next, I had to talk it out with B. I told him everything, laid out the facts and my feelings. And waited and waited and waited. B is an internalizer. He had to think it out in his head before he can talk about it. What he decided was, he didn't have the right info to make an educated decision. He suggested that I ask someone in the field. So, I immediately emailed my favorite instructor. He pretty much said to take the internship.

So after another conversion with B.

And we decided that the internship was just to good to pass up. The experience was worth the lack of pay.

So now I am an intern at a premier design show room, shadowing an amazing designer, and getting crazy amounts of experience in all aspects of the Design field.

Tuesday, September 18, 2012 0 comments

GLB: Week one

(Sorry in advance for any typo's and autocorrect's. I'm posting from my phone.)

GLB = Group Lifestyle Balance
12 week weight loss/healthy living course.

So today was technically our second meeting, but I want to catch up on week one.

We met for the first time on the 10th. It's a decent sized group 14 total (I believe). A wide range of ages and sizes, only 2 guys but that's okay.

We went around the room and introduced ourselves and said why we wanted to be a part of this group.

Most of the woman say that thet were big their whole lives, they had kids and couldn't lose the weight, etc. but mines a little different. I was always skinny growing up. Grew up in a ”large size” family. I always feared getting fat, which lead to my battle with anorexia and anxiety. Then I met my husband, and for the first time ever in my life I felt ”safe” to be me. So, after a couple yet battle to over come my anorexia, it put on 20lbs... And instead of maintaining a healthy weight, I just kept gaining.

Now here I am in all my 191 pounds of glory.

This is not a healthy weight. And since my only way I knew to lose weight was to just stop eating, I need better tools and help to lose weight the right & healthy way.

This week's 'lesson' was about tracking. The coach (that's what they call themselves ”our coaches”) said the single most important weight loss tool is a food diary. So she handed us a little book to track everything we eat and drink. She said to not track calories, grams of fat, work outs, etc this week. All they want is for us to get in the habit of tracking. Which, by the way, is much much harder than it sounds.

So that was Monday morning.
That evening I was removed from my class (long story for another day).

Tuesday I had my internship (which I need to share also another story for another day) in the morning and my Green Design class at night. Did really well with my eating. I panned everything ahead. Had lunch and dinner with me, so it didn't get the urge to way junk. made dinner for B in the crock pot so it was done when he got home.

Wednesday, internship all day. Met with my trainer that afternoon and we ran on car at the duck pond for the first time. It was hot, but it was a nice run/jog. Our was nice to get out for a change. Fresh air and all that jazz. Did okay with my eating. My run  came at a weird time so I was a bit off.

Thursday: internship in the morning. Got to shadow Mrs.B on a job in a 2 MILLION DOLLAR HOME!!! Then I had my Advanced Kitchens class that, evening. I didn't do so well. Forgot to pack a fork for my lunch and only had snacks. Then splurged on chipotle.m and wayyyy over ate.

Friday: I went running with my trainer again. It was really fun to get out of the house for a bit and chat with a friend. That afternoon I went to the doctor to discuss my potions for an ingrown toenail. Well.... There was only one option: cut it out. Fuck did that suck! I'm glad it's done and over, but i'm going to avoid found,that again with all my might. Damn.
Wasn't very hungry because of the pain. I did have breakfast and a bit of dinner. B made me stir fry

Saturday: I was a bit stupid. And went to the case lot sale on base. Which in itself isn't that bad. But with a bum toe, no real budget, and no i've with me, I went a but over board. But to be fair I sent part to my brother at college, part its non-perishable to send to B when he deploys etc  by the end of the route, I haveto have a bagger boy help me push the ”cart” (picture the flat carts from Home Depot), to my car.

Sunday: I cleaned and read. statutes off my foot as much as possible.

So my week was a but crazy.
I did okay with eating
I need to cut out beer and coffee this week.
I did well taking my food Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday.
But Thursday I only got half of it. Friday, it only wrote down breakfast.
Totally forgot Saturday and Sunday. Oops.

This week will be better.
No more beer till after the 26 th (pt test).
My goals are:
· Eat at least 3 meals a day.
· Stay between 1200 - 1500 calories
· Drink more water than anything else each day (goal of min. 72 oz or 3 of my water bottles)
· keep better track of my food diary

Friday, September 7, 2012 0 comments

Today I signed up for...

A 12 week nutrition & weight loss group at the  hospital.

This morning I went to a nutrition 'basics' class. They went into 
Portions and serving sizes, how to read labels, etc.

Then st the end she talked about the other classes they offer.

It's a 12 week program. We meet 1x a, week for 12 Weeks and them 1x a month after that. It's a program that they tailor to you and you get one on one help with meal plans, what to eat to achieve your goal, etc. i'm super excited.

The first meeting is Monday st 8:45

Monday, August 27, 2012 0 comments

Oh Monday

Today was.... Trying. Yeah, that's a fitting word.

This morning, my alarm went off at 0445, for B. He came in at roughly 0600 to kiss me good bye. I thought, oh, i've still got 15 min before i've fit to get up. I woke up an hour and a half later.

Got to work 45 min late.

Had two power surges during the day.

Left work e early to get to school and find parking.

Got to the veterans office 10 min after closing.

Class ran 20 min over.

Came home and both B and Sammy were asleep.

I'm sooooooooooooooo tired.

Oh and when I took of my boots and socks i've got a quarter size 1/8”, thick blister that pooed and peeled off. It hurts pretty dang bad.

Back to my book....

Sunday, July 29, 2012 0 comments

Small worlds BLOW

Some times I hate how small the Air Force is.

Several years ago, when I was young and dumb I had a run in with this guy 'M'.

M was a friend of my dad and I've known him since I was really young. His oldest daughter and I went to school together/grew up together.

So, ffwd i'm 20 (just met B) I'd just got out of a bad relationship/break up/rebound whore stint. One night in a drunken stooper I flashed one of M's friends while on assignment out of state. So... of course when I get home, everyone knew.

M decided to push his luck with me. M has a reputation of being a super sleeze ball. He boasts about cheating on his wife (who is super sweet and I'd love being her friend if she wasn't married to him). He then starts making lewd comments & gestures toward me and about me. Eventually he and the guy I flashed corner me in the parking lot. They start with the talk again and soon they are poking/touching me in inappropriate places, lifting up my uniform top, etc.

I'm really shaken up by it, but I try to play it off. Of course when Bri picks me up for lunch and he instantly knows somethings wrong. Long story short, I told my dad (who was in my unit at the time), who up chanelled it to the commander. The  Commander asked what I wanted to happen. I told her I didn't want people to know, but I also didn't want him to get away with it. She asked if I trusted her enough to handle it ”in house”, the answer was yes. I'd trust that woman with my life. But that's another story.

I was allowed to finish my day ”off site” (I waited it out in Bri's unit). And i've been told a couple different versions of what happened next to him, but they're all vastly different. And honestly, I don't know what really happened, but again I trusted my commander.

... That was 6  years ago.
Since then our unit was disbanded, we went our separate ways, and I rarely if ever thought about the whole ordeal.

... Until 4 months ago when I hear he's coming into one of our sister units. Not in my unit or on my drill weekend, but still too close.

I had a minor(::cough::major::cough::) freak out and went to have a one on one chat with my chief. He is someone who I trust very much. Again, I was asked what I wanted to happen. I told him 1) I just needed to vent to someone I trust and leery them know the situation 2) I just want him to know that I reserve the right to nit work with him if I at any time feel uncomfortable. But I would be polite, respectful, and keep my fucking distance.

The reason this was brought back up  is because I'm out of town doing am inspection in another state. I knew that the sister squadrons were here, but again I didn't really think about him. Till I walked outside and there he was.

I'll never feel comfortable around him. I'll never willing go someplace that i'm sure he will be. But I am NOT found to let him ruin my trip, my training, or my reputation.

But I do get sick pleasure in knowing that in the 6 years that have passed, he has not been promoted once, the people he last worked with were ”happy to be rid of him” (their words not mine), and he is currently assigned to the section that I know like the back of my hand and know that it'd we are forced ro participate in the same event, I'd be in the position of power, not him.

Again, I will move passed the past and continue doing what I'm doing... But, I'm still wish I never had to see him ever ever fucking ever again...

Friday, July 20, 2012 0 comments

I hurt myself (Part II)

I shared my story of HOW my finger got infected.

Now for the "living with an infected finger" story. Sounds riveting right? No? I knew it.
But i'm going to tell you anyways.

So after my long and frustrating appointment with Dr.Douche. I came home and talked with B (in case you haven't heard he's an RN) I tend to trust his opinion over almost anyone when it comes to most things, including my finger.

So with the pain and swelling and the obvious pp (puss pocket) on my finger. We (me) decided to open it. And so, we did.
B boiled some new clippers. I soaked my finger and held super still and cut it open. and FUCK did that hurt.
B then proceeded to "milk" my finger. he pushed on the hole finger as I had it in a soak (hot water and Epsom salt).... while I bawled into a towel. It wasn't the most pleasant experience, but it did get a lot of "nastiness" out of my finger.

TMI ALERT: when he came to take my finger out of the soak and bandage it up there was a "goo-clot" of blood and puss half in half out of the cut.

So that all happened on Tuesday.

Today is Friday.

My 'cut' is better. but I'm still really swollen. I still can't bend my finger.
My elbow and shoulder are beginning to hurt
my finger throbs....
it hurts...
I'm not better.
this shit sucks.
all from a fucking hang nail. lol.

Wednesday, July 18, 2012 0 comments

I hurt myself... again. (Part I)

So last Thursday I had a hangnail on my left index finger.

Friday I woke up and my finger was huge!

I showed B and we thought it was just a spider bite. I normally have bad BAD reactions to bug bites, and I do get bit a LOT. I thought nothing of the hang nail.

So, I took Ibuprofen and benadryl and on Saturday it seemed to be getting better.

Monday I woke up and my finger had doubled in size from Friday and was SO painful. It was now red and warm with a little white patch near the nail bed. The swelling had now moved down to my whole finger and across the knuckles. I took my wedding ring off because I was worried about the sudden swelling.
I took benadryl and ibuprofen again just in case. I showed B when he got up (hes been working nights). He told me it looked infected and to call the doc in the morning.

So I did.
I called at 8 talked to the tech, who took notes and told me there were no open appointments and to stay by the phone cause the nurse would be calling me soon.
At 1045 the nurse called, asked more questions and told me there was an opening at 1520 with Dr.C (he's the mean doc I have talked about before dealing with my migraines). I said sure, I'm just desperate for relief.

I go in and wait....
1540 I finally go back to the room.
P.S. there was NO ONE in the waiting room.
1600 the doc finally comes in.

He looks at my finger and says, "Yeah, It looks infected [really, dude. no shit]. I don't think it needs to be drained yet, but we should [what?]. Okay, I'll be right back." and leaves.

1610 he comes back in and says he had to finish with the patient across the hall and would be right back
1613 the nurse comes back in starts loading the tray with sterile pads, scalpels, band-aids, etc. [wtf!]
1620 he comes back in and says to me, "Well, I don't really want to take the time to numb your finger fully [yup, he said that], so we only have the topical spray. Or we can just try to soak it more often and try to press it with a q-tip to open it!"

Needless to say, I went with option B.
He prescribes antibiotics and Motrin. The Doc said "if that doesn't stop the pain, call and we'll adjust it".

So, I'll call (again) in the morning. this sucks.

Part 2 coming soon...

Sunday, July 1, 2012 0 comments

Never ending migraine.

After a really long time of no pain, or at least minimal pain. I feel like I have had this one for so long I've lost track.

Its now 1:30 am

I'm nauseous from the pain. I told B that my dinner might make a 're-appearance'.

I even got a nice relaxing massage today.

This shit is getting ridiculous.

So tonight i'm sipping on sprite, rocking an ice pack on my neck and on my forehead and a heating pad on my calves.

Falling Apart - Party of 1!

Friday, June 29, 2012 0 comments

Monday - Not so "funday".... or Friday update.

(Started this post on Monday. Its now Friday evening. So, I am going to post what I had started, and then finish on today)
So I know I said that I would weigh in last week.... Well that didn't happen.
I weighed in today. Not first thing in the morning like I prefer. But I did weigh in.

Scale reads: 194. UGH! I still can't get used to seeing this arrangement of numbers on my scale. Where the flying fuck did all this weight come from. I really feel like just yesterday I was at 150 and OMG SO FAT!
[Finished Monday's post]

Fast Forward 5 days and we're here on Friday Evening
Today's weigh in 191! FUCKING AWESOME!

Its been a struggle this week to keep my eating under control and tracking my intake of, well... everything.
So this week this has been my meal plans:

Breakfast: 3 slices of oven roasted turkey breast (3oz) & Half of a grapefruit
Snack: 1/2 cup of greens & 3 oz of fish (salmon, shrimp, or tuna)
Lunch: 1/2 cup of sweet potato or 1/2 cup of brown rice, 1/2 cup greens, & 3-4oz of fish
Snack: 1/2 cup of greens & 3 oz of fish (salmon, shrimp, or tuna)
Dinner: 1/2 cup of sweet potato or 1/2 cup of brown rice, 1/2 cup greens, & 3-4oz of fish
If I have a craving for sugar I have an otter pop (15 calories of awesome)

I'm trying my HARDEST to kick my diet coke/coffee habit. I've done really well some days. But others its all I can do to not make Diet Coke the ONLY thing I drink.

But I've been trying, and that all I can do for now.

Today I took my Air Force PT Test. ...... and failed. my 40 fucking seconds. thats right. I failed my test by 40 SECONDS!

I did awesome on all my other portions. I honestly did my personal best in my sit-ups and push-ups!

in the A.F. Test you have 1 minute to do as many pushups/situps as you can. There's a scale to give your individual amounts a score. and when you total up the score you need to get a 75. the downside is that in each area there is a minimum you need to meet. So if you don't meet the minimum in 1 area, you fail. So you could max the points out in all areas and miss by, oh, 40 seconds on another and you fail. FUCK!

Today I did: 32 push ups (minimum of 18) & 47 sit ups (minimum 38).

but I ran my 1.5 mile in 17:00 minutes. And I needed to run it in 16:22.
I'm frustrated with myself.
I'm just... frustrated.

But looking at the positive. I've lost 3lbs this week. I've set a personal record for my push-ups and sit-ups. I'm working out better.

and with hard work, i'll be better and pass the next time.
Tuesday, June 26, 2012 0 comments

Migraines suck

I'm currently typing this from my phone add I am laying on my couch with an ice pack on my head.

This is a migraine for the first time in a while can't be attributed, linked, or blamed on dehydration.

I'm on a diet, one that I've done before.I've nit introduced any thing new to my system. And I'm drinking water like its.... Uh.... Water? Haha. I'm dealing peeing every 30 minutes like clockwork.

After a particularly bad dream last night, I woke up with a headache around 3am. I was finally able to get back to sleep around 730 for about an hour.

Now I'm laying here struggling to not get sick.

Ask my normal coping techniques aren't working.

These really suck.

Oh also, I posted something on facebook about my migraines. My cousin said that it seems like our families girl's all get them.

I've said something similar to my doctor set some point and he said that migraines weren't hereditary. But it just seems strange to me that so many of us can have them and there not be a link.


Bad dreams are bad...

I fucking hate hate hate bad dreams!!

This one was staring my dad.
He and my mother were drinking and having fun... then they got in a fight.

So he and  drove off. My mom begged me to go with him. So I did
I had sammy in my lap. Them I learned, just how drunk my dad was as he started swerving, and moving out of the way of things that weren't there. I begged him to pull over but he wouldn't.
I'm started freaking out and called for help to any passing person. We started to get followed by people who I was screaming at to stop

Then dad drove through a fence and our car was t-boned by a semi.

Only one who died was Sammy.

then I woke up.

Fuck fuck fuck

Hating life
Thursday, June 21, 2012 0 comments

Web Video's

So I know i've used this excuse before "I don't have time to go to the gym"
But now I can no longer use that as an excuse.
This site has every work out video you can need:
In this link there is:

Spark People:
10 Minute Jump Start Cardio Workout
10 Minute Cardio Kickboxing Workout
10 Minute Jump Rope Cardio Workout
15 Minute Abs Workout
BodyRock Cardio Exercise Workout:
Part 1
Part 2

Part 3
Part 4
Part 5

Get Hot Cardio Workout
Fit Test
Plyometric Cardio Circuit
Cardio Power & Resistance
Cardio Recovery
Pure Cardio
Cardio Abs
Core Cardio & Balance
Max Interval Circuit
Max Interval Plyo
Max Cardio Conditioning
Max Recovery
Insane Abs
Max Interval Sports Training
Upper Body Weight Training
Jillian Michaels:
30 Day Shred:
Level 1
Level 2

Level 3

Ripped in 30:
Week 1
Week 2
Week 3
Week 4

6 Week 6 Pack:
Level 1
Level 2

Banish Fat Boost Metabolism
No More Trouble Zones
Yoga Meltdown

Carmen Electra:
Aerobic Striptease
Fit to Strip
In the Bedroom
The Biggest Loser:
Biggest Loser 30 Day Jump Start Workout
Biggest Loser Cardio Max Workout
Biggest Loser Weight Loss Yoga
Biggest Loser Boot Camp Workout
Turbo Jam:
T3 - Totally Tubular Turbo
Cardio Party Mix 1
Cardio Party Mix 2
Cardio Party Mix 3
Fat Blaster
Chest and Back/Ab Ripper X
Legs and Back
Yoga X
Cardio X
Kenpo X
Shoulders and Arms
Core Synergetics
Stretch X
Chest, Shoulder, and Triceps
Back and Biceps
Tone It Up:
Bikini Abs & Thighs
Sandcastle Workout
Bikini Blast Circuit Workout
Diet Health:
Ab and Inner Thigh Exercise
World’s Fastest Workout
POP Pilates:
Flat Abs Challenge
3 Minute Ab Challenge
Slimming Inner Thighs & Calves
Inner Thigh Insanity
Saddlebag Shaver
Standing Pilates for Legs, Butt & Obliques
Butt Blaster

So now you know where to go when you have a limited amount of time to work out!!!


Mid week check in

I've been thinking about setting a goal for myself. I need something to shoot for. I know myself well enough that I need to get a goal in mind. Something to reach for and to work towards. 

So, I think I've found a goal.

We're going home on leave in roughly 52 days.
I would like to lose 20 lbs in 52 days.
I know its a long shot, but I think I can do it. that's roughly 3lbs a week for 7 weeks. 

I've been reading a lot of blogs, articles, magazines, books, etc on weight loss/healthy eating lately. I actually bought 2 books from the BX last week:

I think I'm going to start posting my meal plans and get everything down.
That way its all accountable.
Tomorrow I'm going to weigh myself.
I'm a little nervous about it.

My FIL was in town for the last 4 days. I've haven't seen so much red meat in I don't know how long.

Saturday - Steaks for dinner
Sunday - Prime rib for fathers day
Monday - Burgers at Great America
Tuesday - Philly Cheese Steak Sandwich for lunch.

Granted each day I tracked my calories, and I've been at my calorie limit. Except for Tuesday, I was over by 140.
So, I hope I've lost some weight. But I'm not going to be surprised if i haven't.
I'll let you know how it goes.

Tuesday, June 19, 2012 0 comments

Fresh Start

This last month I have been Bitch Slapped by reality.

After seeing some disturbing pictures of myself from graduation and seeing "196" on my scale. I've had no other choice but face reality. I'm fat. I'm not just a little over weight any more. I'm no longer just in my "new marriage extra weight". I'm out of excuses. I did this to myself. Now I need to get myself out of it.

So, I go to the gym enough. That I know its not lack of activity that has lead me down the dark path of lumpyness. Its what I'm eating, how much i'm eating, when i'm eating, and so on.

So in light of all of this I've decided to make some changes.

I'm starting small and setting realistic goals for myself. I'm done making excuses for myself. If I have a bad day of eating, I'll face it as a fact and learn. If I want a beer, I'll have A beer and not the whole 6 pack.

So here are my goals:
  • Weigh in once a week. 
  • Try and stick to a 1200 calorie limit
  • Track my food (good and bad) on app on my phone. 
  • Go to the gym 3-4x a week.
  • Do a minimum of 30min of cardio 3x a week. 
That is it. I'm not going to put myself on a strict diet. I'm not going to eliminate carbs, sugars, etc. I'm going to try and make better choices but not force myself to do something i don't want to do. I'm going to make food I like, but with healthier choices. 

Here is my 'goal' menu:

Breakfast: Egg Whites (3-4) with 1/4-1/2 cup veggies (tomatoes, peppers, spinach, etc)

Lunch: Lean Protein (chicken or turkey), 1/2 cup rice, 1/2 cup veggie

Dinner: Lean Protein, 1 cup rice or 1 sm sweet potato, 1 cup veggie

Snack: Fruits and veggies

Desert: Otter Pop (15 calories each. Cures my sweet tooth with out the insane calories) 

Water: 1gal a day.

So I'm not saying I'm going to do this perfectly. I know i'll have my struggles to keep with in this. But this is my goal.

Find me on Myfitnesspal
Username: Mrsrotty


Tuesday, June 12, 2012 0 comments

Big Bang!!

This is by far my all time favorite moment in the history of Big Bang

Thursday, June 7, 2012 0 comments

Can't sleep....

So what do I do?
Make Nature letter words. lol

Wednesday, June 6, 2012 0 comments


Was just playing around on the computer and googled some stuff. 
came up with this. 
United States Air Force

I Miss My Husband


I do okay most of the time. I keep myself busy and distracted. but there is normally one day during each trip that i just get "home sick" that sounds weird since i'm the one home, but its the best way i can describe it.

I miss him, but its more then that. Its just the security. Its the comfort. Its the..... its everything.

We are separated, we move, we pass each other on trips....
he's my home.

.... le sigh.

He gets home Saturday. I leave sometime monday (the trip has been on and off more times than I can count. So I just plan on leaving until they tell me not to).

Today I cleaned the kitchen, did 2 loads of dishes, sanitized the counter tops, swept, swiffered, tomorrow i'll mop, did 3 loads of laundry, folded and put away 3 loads of laundry, dusted the wine wrack and dry bar, re loaded the beer fridge, picked up the bedroom and living rooms, tomorrow i'm going to vacuum and dust. The last time he was gone (about oh.... a week ago) I scrubbed the shit out of the bathrooms and showers.

I'm running out of shit to clean.... I clean when i get anxious.

I started my period today to boot.

There's no point to this.... I just had to whine for a bit.

Tuesday, June 5, 2012 0 comments

Another Battle

So, In the wake of the never ending traveling gunk I've been battling for over a week now I've allowed myself to become dehydrated.

For most people it isn't so bad when you get dehydrated. you get some minor symptoms and some minor discomfort, then you drink some water and you're right as rain.

Me, not so much. When I allow myself to get dehydrated, my brain turns into the pain center.
My major trigger (from what i can figure) is dehydration.

It starts slow. I get groggy and sluggish. I get really tired and sometimes I'll sleep all day. Then somewhere in this fog the pain starts. It will either start slowly and build up like the psycho background music in some slasher film. or it just jumps up and whacks you like a 2x4 to the side of the skull.

So now i'm in bed, I've been here since 630. After my lovely conversation with my husband who can only contact me once a day, I decided that it would be good to lay down. Ice pack on the back of my neck & one on the top of my head.

My medications make me sketchy. I feel sketchy and anxiety ridden. Like i'm waiting for the other shoe to drop.

I need to go to bed......


My weekend in pictures

Sunday, June 3, 2012 0 comments

Long Weekend

This weekend was a military weekend. And as most of them go it was busy, stressful, slightly chaotic, and oddly wonderful in spite and because of all of these.

I am still really sick.
I thought i was on the mend and over did it today. I think losing everything I've eaten today taught me a big lesson in that. Not to over do it when you're still recovering.

Right now i'm downloading Audio books onto my cell phone so that I can listen to them while i sleep.

B is gone... again. This time he's in some hole in the wall place in Texas.
I dropped him off at the airport first thing this morning.
I find it sad that I don't cry any more when he leaves on these short trips.
I think with the ever present thought that there will be a really long long LONG trip coming up soon that I'm able to put these frequent little trips into perspective.

But back to my weekend. My drama troop is back.
I'll type out that story tomorrow, Its a doozy.

Saturday we had a lot of meetings and training to do. My troops were scattered everywhere.

     I had 2 out-processing to finally go to tech school. Poor kids. They have to go back to being "new" and treated like they just joined the military because the school they needed closed their doors and moved from Texas to Virginia. So they've been functioning members in our unit for almost a year now. Now they have to go back to "basics" (no pun intended) and be treated not as prior service, but as baby new kids.
     My troops that just came home from deployment were doing their last  minute travel vouchers and they were preparing for a trip to Washington (annual tour)
     Most were in inspection prep meetings and training. While the remaining were at the Passenger Terminal (PAX) with me doing some training.
     My drama troop is back. I'll type out that story tomorrow, Its a doozy.

Sunday wasn't bad. I took B to the airport so I was roughly 20 minutes late (30 when you throw in my detour to starbucks). My goodness my troops must have known I was down because they sure were SPOT ON today. I mean, as spot on as you can be at 20 years old with the attention span of a puppy. focused ... focused ..... focused .....focused..... SQUIRREL !!!!! So I gave them a break and we left at 1030 for lunch. i think we meandered back to the unit and to work around 1. It wasn't like we didn't do our work, we just got it all done really quickly and efficiently that they earned a break. I'm pretty hard on them most of the time. I expect greatness and nothing else will do. Tough, Hard, but fair.

Then Sunday afternoon my first and #1 favorite female officer (B's my #1 favorite lol)made "Full Bird" Colonel today. I cried during her ceremony. I've known her for as long as I can remember.

She was in my fathers unit when i was young and she was a young LT
She was my first commander when I joined the military and joined my fathers unit.
She was in my second duty station when we moved bases to Washington
She was down her when we moved to California and I joined this unit.
She's just always been there.
Now she's taking up a really good and important roll at a base in Illinois. I don't see myself heading there any time soon. hahaha.

I have a lot of pictures on my phone to add. I'll add those to my next post in a bit.
I'm going to go lay down now.
I don't feel so bad when I'm laying down, its in every other position and movement that seems to reek havoc on my body. not so fun

but my books are finally loaded.
good night bloggers
Saturday, June 2, 2012 0 comments


Its 11:30.... My alarms are set to start going off at three minute intervals at 4:25.

I originally went to bed and passed out asleep around 7:30.

I woke up at 9:45 with a really bad leg cramp.

I'm so nauseated it is hard to sleep.

I'm some where between shaking with fever and throwing up from waves of nausea.

I haven't been this sick in a long time.

To bad there is no time to recoup

I have to get up for training my troops in the morning. I'm hoping my duckies take it easy on me.

We're hosting a farewell dinner/bbq tomorrow night for a friend, its the only time we can all get together before my best guy friend (moving to the east coast) and B leave (going to Texas for training). Its to late to cancel, amd i'm honestly really looking forward to seeing everyone, but its going to be rough.

Getting sick never comes at a good time.

I would like to get a time machine and go back to when being sick came with chicken noodle soup and juice. Along with a free day off school and the only worry was the lack of good day time TV.

Sometimes being an adult sucks

Thursday, May 31, 2012 0 comments

Friday Fill Ins we go!

1. Hallelujah! I'm done with school!
2. In myh husbands arms  is where I wanna be!
3. When I was walking the dog this morning, I saw a handful of goose feathers in the road and I thought Those baby duckies sure are adorable!
4. I offended one of my troops and that's how I knew it was time to reel myself in and apologize.
5. What were once vices are now annoying
6. EGGS & TOMATOES is what I've been having for breakfast lately.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to Seeing amazing troops, tomorrow my plans include Work hard and Sunday, I want to Play hard!!