Friday, July 30, 2010 2 comments

Tiny Health Scare

So this week was 'That appointment'. The one appointment every year that woman dread.

Since my doctor was already going down south, I decided to talk to her about this mole I had on my upper inner thigh. Think right where your inner thigh, butt cheek, and groin all meet.

We have a lot of cancer in my family. Most recently my Great Uncle (mom's uncle) died of complications from lung cancer. My Grandmother (mom's mom) has non-severe skin cancer. She gets 'chunks' of skin removed every 4-6 months.

so needless to say I'm very aware. I check my moles, I check my breasts, etc.

I brought this to her attention was strange for 2 reasons:
1) It had developed in less than a year
2) It extended past the normal skin layer.

After the normal pap, she took a closer look at the mole.

She decided to remove it so she could send it in for testing.

Nothing says "have a good day" like an anesthesia shot to the vagina at 8 am.


No it wasn't actually on my vagina, but a lot closer to it than I ever wanted.

I don't think I've ever said "fuck" that loud in my whole life. I apologized and then kept my fucks to an inside voice.

The 1st shot hurt soooooooooooo bad (10 out of 10). the 2ND one hurt, but not as bad (7 out of 10). The 3rd shot wasn't bad, just a little pinch (2 out of 10).

I told her to tell me when she was done, because I didn't want to look.
I was really proud, I didn't cry at all.
I got teary eyed with the anticipation, but during the actual procedure - no tears (but lots of "fucks")
B thinks I 'passed out' and don't remember crying. He doesn't think its believable that I didn't cry.

So I'm a little worried, just because it developed so quickly. But I trust my doctor when she says don't worry about it. She IS sending it in, just in case, but she seriously doubts its anything.

So I currently have a rather large bandage in a very inconvenient spot.
Tonight is the first time I changed the bandage (I put it off a little long). I was finally able to see what it looked like.

I have a 1/4" circle chunk of skin missing. because of the angle, I can't see how deep it is. The doctor said i have to keep it covered and dry until it "fills in" so I think it might be a bit deeper than I expected.

for what its worth, i think after this i can get a wax NO PROBLEM!

Thursday, July 29, 2010 0 comments

And if one door opens to another door closed

I hope you keep on walkin' til you find the window
If it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile
But more than anything, more than anything

My wish for you
Is that this life becomes all that you want it to
Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small
You never need to carry more than you can hold

And while you're out there gettin' where you're gettin' to
I hope you know somebody loves you
And wants the same things too
Yeah, this is my wish


I was talking to an old friend today who's boyfriend is currently deployed.

And we were talking about how we haven't hung out in years and the fact that we need to reconnect.

I said to her "Sometimes life guides paths together". I just really think this statement is so true for me lately

And lately I've really found that god was looking down on me and saw I was in need of a friend who just 'got it' and blessed me with my new friend/old acquaintance J.

So here's a little back ground:

J and I went to Middle School and High School together (graduated the same year). We had the same friends, and often were at the same events together (dances, games, etc.). Even though we knew each other we weren't "friends". We were acquaintances. I didn't dislike her for any reason, but there just never came a time where our life paths met at a time for us to talk.

So fast forward several years....

B and I stop by a local bar to drop of his friend. J and her Husband JT were there. B and JT went to high school together and graduated the same year too. So we're talking and BS'ing and exchange numbers. We text a little bit, but nothing ever comes of it.

Fast forward another couple years...

We've been Facebook friends for this whole time and just never really talked. One day I see she posted that she needs some adult interaction. J and JT have a 4 year old Em. JT is gearing up to deploy here in the near future, so J quit her no good job to spend time with him. So we arrange an 'adult day'. We didn't do anything but hang out on her patio, but we just clicked.

I honestly feel that god guided our life paths together right at the right time. I mean, of course he did. Everyone (even the most devout believer) has a moment in their life where they question where God is leading them. This just feels right.

Its good to have a friend who was in the military (medically discharged), who's married to the military (JT's about to set out on his second tour), and someone who just 'gets it'.

I can look at her and just stick out my lip, and all that she says is "I know Hun!"

As JT's D-Day (deployment day) creeps up closer and closer she's more and more emotional. and it just feels good to be here for her. She texted me tonight and said she was sorry in advance for not being a 'very good friend' in the near future because she's going to spend time with JT.

I told her do NOT worry about it. I'll be there for her and we'll hang once JT can't anymore. And

I told her a while ago that I fully plan on being there for her when he's gone. I'll cook her food, make sure she eats, and take care of EM until she can.

I'm blessed.

I went through some rough times when B left. Took me a while to get my mind right.

I feel that now that I'm mentally healthy and squared away, god has blessed me with a good friend to keep me that way.

I've always been a firm believer that you can't be good in any relationship that has love (friends, family, marriages) until you are good and love yourself first.

God waited till the perfect time to bring my path and J's path together.

I don't know what I would do with out her right now.

hahahaha. its been less than a month since we've become so close and if we go more than 24 hours, we tell each other we're going through withdrawls. hahahaha. I went over to her house today for just an hour or so. That way we could get our 'fix'. we're a little to perfect for each other, its kind of scary.


Wednesday, July 28, 2010 0 comments

Lets talk about books

I love books. I really do. I could curl in a ball and read a book in a comfy chair and stay there till my feet fall asleep and probably longer until i got to a good 'stopping point'.

But I think we've all had those books, that are just so slow that they are hard to get through.

I'm talking mostly about:

Each book has 2-3 stories in them.

In #1. the first and second story i soared through, but then the third.... drug on and on and on.
But I made it through.

I decided to give the #2 a chance. Again the first part was really really good. But i'm currently toward the end of the 2nd story and I can't make it more than 5 pages before I have to put it down.

The story line is interesting. I keep wanting to read it to see what happens. but each page is hard to get through. I don't know how its possible, but it is.

I'm used to books that I just couldn't put down.

At what point do you give up on a book?
My mom couldn't finish #1. She gave it back to me. lol.

Thursday, July 8, 2010 0 comments

Friday Fill Ins

Haven't done this one in a while

1. Layers of Dishes are in my sink.

2. The thought of being with him is almost insight.

3. I'd be willing to bet that my mother comments on how messy my house is tomorrow

4. EVERYTHING scares the dog.

5. I'm fond of lemonade and vodka

6. I miss him too much!

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to Getting out of the house, tomorrow my plans include driving to drill and Sunday, I want to go see the new twilight with a friend!

Monday, July 5, 2010 1 comments

Sewing Project #2

After a rough week. i decided i needed a project.

I'm going to make a skirt.

I got a pattern, fabric, new thread, a ZIPPER, and an eye hook. omgsh. i'm so excited!

I'm making the yellow one.

I'm using a pink and white pokadot fabrick. i'm really really excited!!!!
Wish me luck!

Thursday, July 1, 2010 0 comments

who wants to play... guess the injury?

yep, thats right. I'm rocking the face bandaid.
whats your guess?