Wednesday, November 16, 2011 0 comments

30 Days of Thankful in November

Day 13: today i'm thankful for my bff. I have found such a friend 'soul mate' in her. we grew up so close together, and graduated together, but it took 6 years for us to reconnect and really realize how much we had in common. Today is her birthday and I want her to know she's amazing! I ♥ you Jac (in a platonic non lesbian bff kind of way) HAHAHAH!!

Day 14: Today i am thankful for Pain pills

Day 15: today I am thankful for a group of great women who make my monotonous Tuesday class enjoyable and full of fits of giggles. They make the hour and a half of driving worth it.
Saturday, November 12, 2011 0 comments

Newest Book Series Obsession

The Night Huntress series by Jeaniene Frost

I just finished This Side of the Grave last night. It wasn't my favorite, but it was still really good. 

It is a story about Cat & Bones. I want to go into so much detail about how much i love these books, but I can't.... I don't want to ruin it. but please read these. but we'll just go with Cat is an illusive half breed, half vampire/half human who has set out to kill vampires. Then she runs into Bones who is a vampire unlike any she has come across before. There is a fine line between hate and love. they walk this line very carfully.

I wasn't so sure about it at first. My twin (aka freaky similar good friend) had the first books when I went to see her for our birthdays. We were standing in line at Disneyland reading (lol) and I got totally sucked into it. 

I had to wait to buy the last two books (This Side of the Grave & One Grave at a Time)! Like I said, I finished This side of the Grave late last night. It was a little slow and hard to get through, but it was worth it. I've started One Grave at a Time and am super excited. The ending of the last book and the beginning of this book has had an interesting twist, I can't wait to see where its going. 

Highly recommended.

30 Days of Thankful In November

I did this last year, and I really wanted to do it again this year, but i haven't had a chance to post much lately. So, Now i'm going to post all 12 days at once.

Day 1: I'm thankful for my amazing husband. Thing's aren't always disney perfect, but if love is there we'll always be our kind of perfect

Day 2: I'm thankful for the opportunity to go to school and follow my dream

Day 3: I'm thankful for Sammy, who knows when i'm sick and instantly becomes mama's cuddle buddy.

Day 4: I'm thankful for my family. I can't wait for my dad and brother to come down for thanksgiving. I'm going to miss my mommy though.

Day 5: I'm thankful for being in the military. People thank me, but I really don't know where or what i would be if it wasn't in the military.

Day 6: I'm thankful for the people in my unit. It was such an amazing drill weekend. This unit is full of such giving and generous people. I'm so thankful to be in this unit. This is the right place for me at this point in my life. I can feel it.

Day 7: I'm thankful for my Personal Trainer. She's helped me so much in the last 6 months. Not just physically but mentally as well. I think she's just plain amazing.

Day 8: I'm thankful for On Demand TV. Its nice to have all my favorite shows available when I have a chance to sit down and watch them.

Day 9: I'm thankful for this house. It may not be the best, but its so much better than the tiny apartment we were in last year.

Day 10: I'm thankful for my teachers this year. After a really rough week, they were so understanding and willing to work with me. I really feel this term all my hard work really is paying off.

Day 11: I'm thankful for all the veterans out there. Its so easy to overlook all the things we military members sacrifice. This year over half our unit is deployed and away from their families. I'm so proud of them.

Day 12: Today I'm thankful for the new monitor B just bought. i'm thankful for this random nugget for 2 reasons. 1) I don't have to hear about how much he wants a new monitor any more and 2) I get his old monitor. My monitor is nice, but its HUGE! so it will be nice to get a thin screen that doesn't take up half my desk. lol

Friday, September 30, 2011 0 comments


This term has been a long one, but i finally feel like I'm back in the grove of things.

I feel back to my old self. Its a pretty nice feeling.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011 0 comments

What an interesting night

Normally when i start a conversation, post, or blog with a title like that it involves loads of liquor and drunken events of stupidity.

But not this time.

So lets preface this story with the back ground of the day.
B worked until 645/700 pm (score for being back on days), i had put dinner in the crock pot and left for class around 415. So by the time i got home from school he was already in bed because he had to work again today. He left the house at 545 this morning (ew).
So i stayed up for about an hour just watching TV, decompressing, had a small dinner, and a beer, then went to bed about 10ish.

I layed down and snuggled in with my corner of the blanket. B had bogarted the rest of the KING size blanket. I know he doesn't sleep in 1 position so i waited up until i knew that he shifted and stole enough blanket back to just about cover me and settled in to go to sleep.


The noises started around 1100pm, but didn't really intensify till 1150.
It sounded in my mind like a loud female. i couldn't tell if she was screaming or what. but it was loud enough that i could hear it through the walls with no windows open. but it didn't sound loud enough for it to be right next door. it sounded a house away or on the back side of the block.

It settled down for a bit and I just about drifted off to sleep when BAM B wakes straight the fuck up. he goes out into the living rooms to 'investigate' and i hear the sound again. This is roughly 12:25am.

It woke me up again at 1:15, 2:45, and then i was finally able to get to sleep. that is until B left for work at 5:45.

It was just strange.

I had convinced my self that it was someone being murdered. so i made sure to pay attention to the times. but then i also realized that i sounded batshitcrazy to anyone normal so i did NOT call the cops.

But again it sounded seriously female and seriously crazed.

Monday, August 22, 2011 0 comments

First Day of School

So today was the first day of fall term. I'm not gonna lie, I was nervous for silly reasons. But, still...

It nevef fails, I parked in thd wrong parking lot and got lost. I think of it as my first day ritual.

Anyways, todays class was Interior Design Business Practices. The teacher seamed nice enough, we met for a grand total of 45min. Which is nice, but I have to drive 45min to get there, so it almost isnt worth the hassel. The class is slated to go from 6-9:05. But she stated we wouldn't have a break, that, way we could get out around 8ish. Which i'm totally okay with.

So this class should be interesting. There is 28 people and out of that only 3 are men. Now, im not bad mouthing the ladies, but they normally dont get my sense of humor. Normally I position myself kind of in the middle of class. And scope out those who look like I would get along with.

.....that backfired today....

There is one kid in class I had in my math class this summer... Who I cannot stand. Guess who is in my class?? Guess who sat right next to me?? I may need one of you to be my alliby here soon. The dude shook his leg the whooooollllleeeee fucking class. Our class is in a mobile building. His G.D. leg shook the whole fucking floor...the whole fucking class. Ugh.

Pray for me.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011 0 comments

I'm a living example...

Of why is it important to get sleep, eat right, and keep your body in balance.

I have possibly the worst cold i’ve had in a long long time.

Last week I worked long hours (ave. 16hr days), ate like crap (eat what you can when you can), and didn’t get the sleep I needed.

When I got released around noon on Friday I went home, and my oh my did my body just shut down.

It is now Tuesday and I am back to work (0540-1500). and I’m still freaking sick. I am trying my best to eat right. but I haven’t been able to get to the gym. I had to cancel my appointment with my Personal Trainer today because of how sick I am. Its hard to work out when you can’t breathe, get dizzy standing up to fast, and cough up all sorts of fun gunk.

I get up around 4, work till 3ish. Come home & make dinner. Wait till my husband leaves for work. Finish watching what I was in the living room, then I move to the bedroom. Its currently 8pm and I have NyQuil in my belly, my laptop on my lap, and i’m laying in bed waiting for said NyQuil to kick in.

I just want to be healthy. Is that to much to ask?

It started off as a head cold. All stuffy, sneezy, coughy... etc. but now its move to a full body cold. As of this exact moment, as I'm typing, I'm having a serious dizzy spell and I feel like you do when you're a kid when you spin in circles really fast and then you stop spinning but the world still seems to spin around you. Yeah, That is happening to this 25 year old right now. WEIRDEST FEELING YET!
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Sunday, July 31, 2011 0 comments

Weirdest Dream/Scary Dream

So the following events happened in my twisted sleeping brain:

B & I are hiking in the Oregon woods. All of a sudden we see a much of people carrying doors up the trail heading in the opposite direction of us. Then as soon as we saw them leave, they're back rushing back in the direction they just came to retrieve more doors.

We saw a girl carrying doors the opposite direction, she was struggling to get down part of the rocky trail, so B & I helped her. I asked her a couple questions in broken spanish, but enough to communicate as to why her arm was all torn up. She told me it was nothing. She said that she had fallen carrying the doors. Who was I not to believe her.

She then speed up and disappeared amongst the trees.

We kept walking and seeing the amazing sights of Oregon forest.

Soon we came into a clearing and there was this house. Of course we had to go explore the house. Turns out that the house is a historical house with things on display. We go inside and start looking around at all the things on display. Soon an older man and a middle aged man come into the room. They start talking to us about the items on display and what they mean.

As we are going through the displays and we come across a ukulele. The older man tells B that he can play the ukulele if he wanted to. So my husband being who he was, he picked it up. Little did I know that he could play the ukulele. He busted it out and played like he was a pro.

The middle aged man is standing over by me as i'm in shock and in awe of my husband rocking that little instrument. The older man is circling in and out of the displays watching us.

I'm standing by this display of little cards, and little packets with names on them. I start to look a bit closer at the packets and I realize that the names are human names.

I turn to look at the middle aged man and he is smiling, but the smile is no longer a smile of happy amusement. It has turned into this dark sinister. When I turn to look at B he is magically transformed into a dandelion. In my shock, I can barely hear the sound of the other men in the room laughingly taunting me. I hear them through my fog saying I had better make sure I get all the pieces of my husband other wise I won't be able to put him back together. I scramble and grab an envelope and stuff the dandelion that is my husband in it as quickly as possible. I realize that the men are circling me like a couple vulchers.

I bolt out of the room as fast as I possibly can. I'm running in the opposite direction of the path for fear of the door carriers would stop me. I find another house that is on a cliff. Part of the house was on the cliff. So i busted into the house and found my way down to the basement so that I could get off the cliff. I am searching and searching for a way out of the house. I finally find a door that opens to the out side. I poke my head out of the door to check to see if anyone was coming and I see that the door carriers coming towards the door.

I look at my hand, see the packet that is my husband and I start to cry.

Then my husband came in the door of the bedroom and woke me up.

This seriously was the most insane dream i've had in a long time. whoa.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011 0 comments

Holy weird dreams

I'm kind of known for some weird ass dreams. I cant tell you how many twisted nightmares or cracked oit.dreams i've had over the years. Recently my dreams have been weirder than what I am usec to.

Like tonight.
I litterally just woke up, grabbed my phone, and logged in to tell you all.

So in my dream I just returned from a trip, and whiled I was gone my husband became an overnight internet star. I walk into our bathroom and he's standing on one of our dinning room chairs shaving in the reflection of the shiwer head. Then when I look around there is writting all around in lipstick. When I asked what it was amd why it was there he said it was."taglines and screen names from his fans". Then he shows me the spiderman decals that his fans bought him. He gets a call, and walks out of the room. I cant.follow him because i'm peeing... Then I wake up. Omg.

Saturday, May 28, 2011 0 comments

First phone post

So this is new to me on so many levels. First I am new to this whole 'smart phone' thing, second I'm in a new state of mind. Third, I'm an insomniac posting from my bed when I should be sleeping.

So my fine friends, shall we catch up??

Lets start with school. Wednesday was my last day of spring term and my last day of my first term here I Cali. What a b* of a term it was!!! So in Oregon the school terms are way shorter, think a 2:1 ratio for 'spring' terms. I took 20 credits this term: 1) history & English class 8cr. 2) interior design - materials & techniques 4cr. 3) math - Intro to algebra 4cr. 4) health online course 4cr.

To say it was an intense term is putting it mildly. But I honestly didn't really feel the weight of if until roughly the last 3 weeks. That's when I started to feel like EVERYTHING was due at the exact same time. But to be honest I really enjoyed the term. I learned a lot, not only in the classes but about Cali schools and about the people too.

I have a 10 day break, then summer term starts. I transferred schools due to budget cuts in the Interior design major at the first school. Which stinks because I really enjoyed the girls in that class. But I cant wait around for the classes I need.

My health - I decided to do this topic next because it directly effects my military career and my weight loss goals.
So I'm not sure how much I posted about this before but since about the first of the year I have been battling debilitating migraines. Ive been in the ER 4 times im 5 months, seen 4 different doctors, and have been on countless meds. Its been a rough go of things to say the least. So I finally got a GREAT doc and nurse and things have been looking up. They found out I have a significantly under active thyroid, so I am on daily pills for that. I had a sleep study done, I go in on the 1st for those results. That was an interesting experience. I literally had a pony tail of wires on me head!! I really hope I don't have to do that again, but it is a possibility.

I'm currently on:
1) birth control pills (low hormone)
2) thyroid pill
3) sinus/migraine pill
4) migraine pain pill
5) daily sinus spray

I think I'm missing something, but you get the idea. I know it seems like a lot, but it seems to be working. I've only been to the ER once on this mix of pills, lol. OH!!!! I forgot to tell you I get to sleep with that sexxxy nose strip breathe right thingy, its pretty badass!!!

Military- so I try my best to do my best at whatever I do. But in my military life, I seem to have something that always kept people from seeing my full potential... Until now! This unit has afforded me the opportunity to prove myself and shine!

Ive been able to start a new training program. Ive taken on a lot of responsibility as the booster club prez. Ive started trying to get additional training done for people in need of it, not just in my section.

We had a BIG inspection last month and my troops did outstanding, our section didn't get a single bad note! I'm so proud of them.

Now... If I could only pass my PT test, I would be golden. Its the one stinking pile of shit in my meadow of flowers. As soon as I pass the test, I'll be able to do so so so much more. It will be the last obstacle in my path towards WORLD DOMINATION... BWAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!

Speaking of my fitness, on to my weight loss goal...
Now that I can post from my phone, I think I'll be able to update that blog more.

I was seeing a personal trainer, but she kept canceling appointments, and eventually quit on me. I had seen another trainer in the gym, and after one of my canceled appointments I stopped her and asked if she had any openings. Thank goodness she did. She's amazing. I call her my tiny nazi! I mean it in the best way. Shes so motivating and tough at the same time. She has a track record of passing scores. So I really don't want to break that record.

I have SO much riding on this test, I have to pass, their is no other option.

Well..... That about wraps it up. Ill try and post Mor often. It will be easier now that I have this option.

Later gaters.

Monday, March 21, 2011 3 comments

Friend Making Monday!!

Friend Making Monday!! I'm so excited to announce that FMM is back! I had been searching and searching the blog I used to do FMM with, but after some personal problems she's stepped back from blogging as much as sue used too.

But I did find FMM in another blog! So excited!!

1) copy this weeks questions and answer them in your own blog
2) come here and comment with a link to your blog, or go to Kenz's blog and link through here.
3) come back every monday to see what this weeks prompts are!!

This week is:
Giving the Boys A Chance

1. Who is your pick for the Final Four?
To be honest, as much as I love the NBA, I really don't follow college ball. I watched the championship football game (I don't even know if its a bowl, or whatever) only because Oregon was in it. And I hope that Washington State Huskies make it all the way, but again thats only because their a NW team. Other than that, I have no opinions.

2. What is your favorite workout/fitness activity?
Does sex count?... no. alright then.
Then I'd have to say its kind of a tie. I really enjoy cardio, but The Jillian Michaels 30DS is also really really good!
Squats/Lunges I love to hate.

3. Do you have a favorite healthy snack? Something that REALLY hits the
Grapes, I don't know why but I love grapes!!

4. What is your dream car?
I want a Mazda 3. Omg! I want!

5. Have you set any goals for yourself this month? What are they?
I have a PT test I HAVE to pass next month!!!
I dislike running. but I have to get out and do it... as soon as I quit throwing up!

What say you?

Sunday, March 20, 2011 0 comments

Menu Planning Monday!

Pizza Casserole
Betty Crocker recipe

8 ounces uncooked wheel-shaped macaroni (about 3 1/2 cups)
1/2 pound bulk turkey Italian sausage
2 3/4 cups meatless tomato pasta sauce
1/4 cup sliced ripe olives
1 can (4 ounces) Green Giant® mushroom pieces and stems, drained
1 cup shredded fat-free or part-skim mozzarella cheese (4 ounces)

1.Heat oven to 350º. Cook macaroni as directed on package; drain. Cook sausage in skillet, stirring frequently, until no longer pink; drain.

2 Mix macaroni, sausage, pasta sauce, olives and mushrooms in 2 1/2-quart casserole.

3 Cover and bake about 30 minutes or until hot. Sprinkle with cheese. Let stand about 5 minutes or until cheese is melted.

1 Serving (1 Serving)
• Calories 410o (Calories from Fat 120),• Total Fat 14go (Saturated Fat 4 1/2g,o Trans Fat 0g),• Cholesterol 30mg;• Sodium 1040mg;• Total Carbohydrate 54go (Dietary Fiber 4g,o Sugars 10g),• Protein 18g;Percent Daily Value*: Calcium ;Exchanges:• 3 Starch;• 0 Fruit;• 1 Fat;

Fiery Fettuccine (lighter recipe)
Betty Crocker recipe

8 ounces uncooked fettuccine
1 cup evaporated fat-free milk
1 teaspoon Creole or Cajun seasoning
1 jar (7 ounces) roasted red bell peppers, drained
1/2 pound fully cooked smoked turkey sausage, cut into 1/4-inch slices
2 medium green onions, sliced (1/4 cup)

1 Cook and drain fettuccine as directed on package.

2 While fettuccine is cooking, place milk, Creole seasoning and bell peppers in blender or food processor. Cover and blend on high speed until smooth.

3 Pour pepper mixture into 12-inch skillet. Cook over medium heat, stirring occasionally, until mixture thickens. Stir in sausage; heat through but do not boil.

4 Serve sausage mixture over fettuccine. Sprinkle with onions

1 Serving (1 Serving)
Calories 330 o (Calories from Fat 65 ),• Total Fat 7 go (Saturated Fat 2 g,• Cholesterol 80 mg;• Sodium 650 mg;• Total Carbohydrate 48 go (Dietary Fiber 2 g,• Protein 21 g;Percent Daily Value*:• Calcium ;Exchanges:• 3 Starch;• 1 Vegetable;• 1 1/2 Lean Meat;

Whole Wheat Angel Hair Pasta with Sautéed Multicolored Peppers
Bethenny Frankle Recipe

• 2 cups of peppers: a combo of red, yellow and/or orange, sliced in thin strips
• ½ cup chopped onion
• 1 cup halved grape tomatoes
• 8 ounces of whole wheat angel hair
• ¼ cup fresh basil chiffonaded
• ¼ cup parsley
• 1/8 cup olive oil
• 2 teaspoon salt, 2 teaspoon black pepper
• 1 teaspoon crushed red pepper
• ¼ cup freshly grated parmesan
• large handful of baby spinach, optional

1. Bring pasta water to a boil, seasoned with salt.
2. In nonstick pan, over medium heat, saute onion and peppers in the olive oil. Season with salt and pepper.
3. When tender, add tomatoes. With tongs, remove pasta from water and add to pan. (The pasta water is good for thickening sauce.)
4. Add spinach and crushed red pepper.
5. Add more salt and pepper if necessary.
6. Top with parmesan to taste and sprinkle basil on top.
Incredibly Easy and Low-Fat Chicken, Pasta, Peppers & Onions
Bethenny Frankle Recipe

• 3 boneless, skinless chicken breasts
• 1 box whole wheat fusilli pasta
• 16 oz jar or can of favorite tomato sauce
• 1 ½ large red onions, sliced
• 1 ½ large red, orange or yellow peppers, sliced
• 2 tablespoons of Extra Virgin Olive Oil
• 1 teaspoon red pepper flakes
• 2 garlic cloves minced
• 2 ½ teaspoons of salt
• 2 ½ teaspoons of pepper
• 3 teaspoons of Italian seasoning
• 3 tablespoons of fresh chopped parsley

1. Begin by poking the chicken with a fork and adding seasoned salt and pepper on both sides, then cut the breasts into large bite sized pieces.
2. In a large non-stick skillet, heat oil over high heat and add chicken.
3. Cook chicken until lightly brown on both sides (OK if not fully cooked through).
4. Remove chicken from skillet, reduce heat to medium and in the same skillet add the onion, peppers, garlic, salt, pepper, red pepper flakes, and dried Italian seasoning. Cook until vegetables begin to soften, about 5 minutes.
5. In a separate pot, begin to boil water, lightly salted, for the pasta.
6. Add the tomato sauce to the skillet with the vegetables and add the chicken back in. Let simmer over low heat for 15 minutes.
7. Once water is boiling, add pasta, after 11 minutes, or desired tenderness, drain the pasta.
8. Add pasta to skillet with sauce.
9. Serve and garnish with the chopped parsley.
Crock Pot Minestrone Soup

• 1/2 onion, chopped
• 1 cup carrots, chopped
• 1 celery stalk, chopped
• 2 garlic cloves, minced
• 1 (28 oz) can diced tomatoes
• 1 (15 oz) can white beans, drained, rinsed (cannellini or navy)
• 3 cups fat free chicken broth (or vegetable broth for vegetarians)
• 1 oz chunk of good Parmesan cheese rind
• 1 fresh rosemary sprig
• 2 bay leaves
• 2 tbsp chopped fresh basil
• 1/4 cup chopped fresh Italian parsley leaves
• salt and fresh pepper
• 1 medium zucchini, chopped
• 2 cups chopped fresh or frozen (defrosted) spinach
• 2 cups cooked small pasta like ditalini or elbows (al dente)
• extra parmesan cheese to top (extra pts)
Rinse and drain beans. Puree beans with 1 cup of the broth in a blender.

In a crock pot, combine broth, tomatoes, pureed beans, carrots, celery, onion, garlic, herbs, Parmesan cheese rind, salt and pepper. Cover and cook on low for 6 to 8 hours.

Forty minutes before the soup is done cooking, add zucchini and spinach. Cover and cook 30 more minutes. Add cooked pasta, cook 10 minutes more. Remove bay leaves, rosemary sprig, parmesan rind and season to taste with salt and black pepper. Ladle soup into bowls and top with extra parmesan cheese.

Servings: 6 • Serving Size: 1 1/2 cups Old Points: 4 • Points+: 5
Calories: 215.7 • Fat: 0.7 g  Protein: 8.7 g  Carb: 42.0 g  Fiber: 6.7 g

Italian Herb Baked Chicken

My Recipe

Chicken breasts
Green peppers
Red onion
Italian dressing (roasted red pepper)

Friday, March 18, 2011 1 comments

The interwebz has made me paranoid

So last week on Tuesday I had a really bad headache, so I missed my morning class
I was finally able to function and make it to my afternoon class.

I saw one of my class mates in the parking lot and she said "hey rotty"
I immediately thought, is this a internet crazy? Do I have a stalker?

then I remembered my backpack has Rotty stitched on it. and I laughed at myself. hahaha
I should of had a v8 that day. WOW

Thursday, March 17, 2011 1 comments

So I made my self look like an ASS this weekend

I got served a BIG old case of humble pie yesterday.

So this weekend we had drill, and I was the ONLY supervisor on shift. So I had roughly 15 ‘kids’ to watch. I was a glorified babysitter this weekend, but all in all it wasn’t bad. The one thing that I’m a stickler for more than anything else is theirCDC’s (career development course).

So I knew one of the other new Airmen was in his CDC’s. So I asked him about them, and when he would be done with his end of course test for this volume. They are expected to have each volume completed when they come in on Saturday morning. Saturday was CRAZY busy (I did over 47 evaluations).

So on Sunday I asked him where he was with it. He said he wasn’t completed with it, which honestly I’m happy he was honest. He’s not my normal troop, and I know that his supervisor is more lenient. So I told him I needed it by sign out.I go back into the class room where I tell my Airmen to ‘study’. I don’t care if your doing homework, or cdc’s. As long as your where I expect you to be, and are doing something productive, I can’t be do mad… anyways, I go back there and he’s MIA. I go back several times, and he’s still gone. Right now I’m PISSED! So I tell one of the other Airmen to call him and to come see me ASAP! So I pull him a side and I lay into him. I don’t yell but I talk really sternly.

Come sign out (over 4 hours after I told him to work on them), he still isn’t completed. He says “XX told me that I didn’t have to, I have till the end of the month.” WHOA WHOA WHOA! So I take off to go talk to XX, only to learn that this Airmen that I have been harping on all damn day is AHEAD OF SCHEDULE! He’s working on NEXT months CDC!

::insert head straight up ass::


I apologized in front of EVERYONE!I was wrong, and I knew it. I apologized from the bottom of my heart for doubting him, for not looking at his contract (which says what volume he should be on), I apologized for scolding him.

I’m so used to my problem children that I just assumed he was behind. Boy was I wrong. I felt like a complete and total ass!!!

The worst part is... this kid (he's 27) is the SWEETEST fella! I swear to god. He's the kind of person you want to protect from everything. I hate myself for scolding him. Ugh!


Well... This is interesting

So we got briefed this weekend that the Air Force is OUT of money. They are seriously OUT.

We have enough to get paid for this weekend, but all extra duty is canceled. Deployments are getting delayed, orders are being canceled.

Our sister units are unsure about if they are going to be able to be paid.

They've canceled the rotators flight that goes from base to base picking up reservists. This is devastating news for a LOT of people that depend on it to get to the base for the weekends.

They've grounded missions and cargo flights because the Air Force can't afford to fund them.

This is insane. I have never seen it this bad. It’s just crazy.

My friend shared THIS LINK with me. OMG!

My career field is one of the few that still has primary enlistment bonuses.

We've closed bases too, thats why we had to switch to drilling over 150 miles away from home. They even made our old base is now a 'super base' to help save money in both the Army and the Air Force.

Its crazy. We're SO understaffed as a whole. both as a reserve unit and on the Active Duty side, and we keep shrinking.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011 1 comments

Menu Planning Monday

Yep, It really is(was) Monday again. Time for another round of Menu Planning Monday (even though its almost 1am on Tuesday)

This is what we're having in the Rotty House this week.
I've quit assigning days, because they always get messed up.

Turkey Stuffed Peppers
Gina's Weight Watcher Recipes
Servings: 6 servings (1/2 pepper)  Time: 55 minutes  Old Points: 4 • Points+: 5
Calories: 184.7 • Fat: 2.3 g  Protein: 20.8 g  Carb: 20.2 g  Fiber: 1.6 g
• 1 lb lean chopped turkey meat
• 1 garlic, minced
• 1/4 onion, minced
• 1 tbsp chopped fresh cilantro or parsley
• 1 tsp garlic powder
• 1 tsp cumin powder
• salt to taste
• 3 large sweet red bell peppers, washed
• 1 cup fat free chicken broth
• 1/4 cup tomato sauce
• 1 1/2 cups cooked rice
• Olive oil spray
• 1/4 cup reduced fat shredded cheese

Heat oven to 400°. Spray a little olive oil spray in a medium size saute pan and heat on a medium flame. Add onion, garlic and cilantro to the pan. Saute about 2 minutes and add ground turkey. Season with salt and garlic powder, and cumin and brown meat for several minutes until meat is completely cooked through. Add 1/4 cup of tomato sauce and 1/2 cup of chicken broth, mix well and simmer on low for about 5 minutes. Combine cooked rice and meat together.

Cut the bell peppers in half lengthwise, and remove all seeds. Place in a baking dish. Spoon the meat mixture into each pepper half and fill it with as much as you can. Place all stuffed pepper halves on the baking dish and pour the remainder of the chicken broth on the bottom of the pan. Cover tight with aluminum foil and bake for about 35 minutes. Top with shredded cheddar cheese and enjoy.

Baked Chicken Parmesan
Gina's Weight Watcher Recipes
Servings: 8  Serving Size: 1 piece • Old Points: 5 pts • Points+: 6 pts
Calories: 224.5 • Fat: 8.6 g • Protein: 25.1 g • Carb: 14.2 g • Fiber: 1.3 g
• 4 (8 oz) chicken breast halves, sliced in half
• 3/4 cup seasoned breadcrumbs (I used 4C whole wheat)
• 1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese
• 2 tbsp butter, melted
• 3/4 cup reduced fat mozzarella cheese (I used Sargento)
• 1 cup marinara or Filetto di Pomodoro

• cooking spray
Preheat oven to 450°. Spray a large baking sheet lightly with spray.

Combine breadcrumbs and parmesan cheese in a bowl. Melt the butter in another bowl. Lightly brush the butter onto the chicken, then dip into breadcrumb mixture. Place on baking sheet and repeat with the remaining chicken.

Lightly spray a little more cooking oil on top and bake in the oven for 20 minutes. Turn chicken over, bake another 5 minutes. Remove from oven, spoon sauce over chicken and top with shredded cheese. Bake 5 more minutes or until cheese is melted.

Crock Pot Minestrone Soup

Gina's Weight Watcher Recipes
Servings: 6 • Serving Size: 1 1/2 cups Old Points: 4 • Points+: 5
Calories: 215.7 • Fat: 0.7 g  Protein: 8.7 g  Carb: 42.0 g  Fiber: 6.7 g
• 1/2 onion, chopped
• 1 cup carrots, chopped
• 1 celery stalk, chopped
• 2 garlic cloves, minced
• 1 (28 oz) can diced tomatoes
• 1 (15 oz) can white beans, drained, rinsed (cannellini or navy)
• 3 cups fat free chicken broth (or vegetable broth for vegetarians)
• 1 oz chunk of good Parmesan cheese rind
• 1 fresh rosemary sprig
• 2 bay leaves
• 2 tbsp chopped fresh basil
• 1/4 cup chopped fresh Italian parsley leaves
• salt and fresh pepper
• 1 medium zucchini, chopped
• 2 cups chopped fresh or frozen (defrosted) spinach
• 2 cups cooked small pasta like ditalini or elbows (al dente)
• extra parmesan cheese to top (extra pts)
Rinse and drain beans. Puree beans with 1 cup of the broth in a blender.

In a crock pot, combine broth, tomatoes, pureed beans, carrots, celery, onion, garlic, herbs, Parmesan cheese rind, salt and pepper. Cover and cook on low for 6 to 8 hours.

Forty minutes before the soup is done cooking, add zucchini and spinach. Cover and cook 30 more minutes. Add cooked pasta, cook 10 minutes more. Remove bay leaves, rosemary sprig, parmesan rind and season to taste with salt and black pepper. Ladle soup into bowls and top with extra parmesan cheese.

Creamy Taco Mac
Annie's Eats

1¼ lbs. ground turkey
8 oz. dry pasta shapes
1 small onion, chopped
1 clove garlic, minced
1 (14 oz.) can diced tomatoes, drained
4 tbsp. taco seasoning
3 oz. cream cheese
½ cup sour cream
Salt and pepper
Shredded cheddar cheese (optional)
Bring a large pot of water to boil. Cook pasta according to the package directions. Drain, reserving ½ cup of pasta water. Set aside.
Meanwhile, in a large skillet or sauté pan, cook the ground turkey over medium-high heat until no longer pink. A few minutes before the turkey is cooked through, add the chopped onion to the skillet. Once the turkey is cooked through, mix in the garlic and cook until fragrant, about 30 seconds. Mix in the diced tomatoes and taco seasoning and let simmer over medium heat for about 5 minutes. Stir in the cooked pasta, cream cheese, sour cream and reserved pasta water, and continue stirring until the cream cheese is melted and the sauce is well blended. Season with salt and pepper to taste. Simmer over medium-low heat 3-5 minutes to reduce the sauce a bit. Remove from the heat and top with shredded cheddar cheese, if desired.


2-4 Chicken breasts
2 peppers
1 onion
Fajita seasoning
Mexican cheese
Sour cream
Taco shells

Crock pot salsa chicken

4 chicken breasts
2 jars salsa
1cup shredded cheddar cheese
1 cup pepper jack cheese
Brown rice

Put 2 jars salsa, and chicken breasts in a crock pot on low for 8 hours of on high for 4 hours.

right before you are ready to eat add shredded cheese to the crock pot

Cook brown rice

Serve chicken and salsa-cheese sauce over brown rice

I have no idea the calories. but it is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO good!

Saturday, March 5, 2011 0 comments

Talked to my husband

About whats been really bugging me.

I told him that I'm really struggling with being so far away from my family and my friends. and that I'm not sad that I stopped being friends with the two girls here, but its just difficult.

I told him that I get that he needs to get out of the house. and so it doesn't bother me that he goes to the gym to play basketball with the guys. but that leaves me home for another 2 hours alone.

He said, why don't you go home for spring break. and to be honest. for a weekend it would be great. but I don't want to be gone all week.

He asked about the girl I talk about in my math class. I told him that she seems down to earth. we've just become FB friends. lol. He told me to set up a "girl date"! haha.

I cried. but he was really understanding.

I had to tell him that my school is different then my school. He went to class with the same people for several classes.

I go to 3 different classes and see 60 different faces. i'm lucky if i make a connection with 1 person.

He said that hopefully when I transfer schools it will be a bit more structured so I can make a little more connections between people.

I'm hoping to get out of the house together maybe go hiking for a couple hours or something like that.

I'm still not 100% mentally, but I feel loads better getting it off my chest.
I've been super clingy lately and today he got really annoyed at me (to be honest if the tables were reversed, i would be too). so i just told him how i was feeling.


Its been rough

first its p-week so i'm overly emotional as it is. So the things that got me so upset seem kind of minor, but when added all up it was just more than I could handle.

I called my mom last night and just cried.
It just hit me how hard it is to be so far away from home and have no friends.

The whole school situation is hard. And I think that I don't get to see B much now, whats going to happen when my school is over an hour away?

I feel like I don't really get to spend time with him because he's on nights, and when we are home together. I spend a lot of time in my office doing my homework. I have to stay on top of it because if i take a day off I just drown in it.

We try and stay on top of the chorese, he's been trying to help. but it just got over whelming.

The landlord is a dirt bag and I just want to get out of this place. but we still have about 6 months on the lease.

My head aches are out of control. I have one about every 3 days now.

My headache meds don't help my sleeping. They make me drowsy, but won't actually let me get sleep. so the first 2 hours i'm actually asleep Its that awkward half sleep where you have wicked vivid weird dreams.

I'm still struggling with my re-enlistment bonus. I still don't have the last payment from my first bonus.

I had to call my old state DMV again because they never got me the documents to get my license renewed from here. I do NOT want a drivers license in this state.

I had to call the VA because my school still hasn't been paid off. but they show that its been paid, so now i have to go to my school and figure out why they haven't posted it.

I'm just spent.
I'm tired
I'm sore
I'm over it.
I just want my mommy

Wednesday, February 23, 2011 1 comments

Sometimes there are no words..

So I don't remember if I posted on this topic or not.

My BFF A has a scuzzy evil boy friend/fiance. It really depends on what day of the week it is on their status.

When I say scuzzy, I don't mean dead beat dad or a lazy ass loser. I'm talking about a verbally abusive, manipulative, ass hole of EPIC proportions.

He's told A that She's a terrible mother, that D is a horrid kid and its all her fault. He's told her that no one will ever love her like he does and that the only men that she will find will fuck her and leave her like the trash she is.... and so on... and so on...

They live together in a 2 bedroom apartment, that he pays for. but the second bedroom isn't for D, OH NO! That is his office 'his space'. So D sleeps in the same room as them.

I could go on, but i'll stop there.

On Thursday my BFF A left her scuzzy BF/Fiance

that night he got mad over something small, threw her phone against the wall (the one D sleeps against). and said if she didn't do what he said, he'd kick them out, this was at 3 am and she has to get up at 530 for work.

He showed up at her work the next day bringing the crazy all up in the lobby of her work. demanding that she give him her keys so he could take their car home and move all her shit out.

She showed up at their place with her mom (left D (my amazing god son)at her moms place) and moved the majority of her stuff out.

he cried, and begged, etc.
He even went as far as to take out a gun (wtf) and threaten to kill himself.
He gave her his old phone, so he could be in contact with her. She took it because her moms place doesn't have a land line.

She left, and is at her moms place. (her mom is all moved out and living with her boyfriend), so she has a month to find a new place before their lease is up.

He called/texted her begging.
His friend texted/posted on FB that he's in the hospital with chest pains. Apparently he has high blood pressure.
They diagnosed him with an anxiety attack and doped him up. his friend says he keeps asking for her.

I call bull shit/mind games.

She's free financially of him once she gets her tax return (she's getting close to 5000).

I wish I could say I was surprised, but I'm not.
She took him back.
She found out last night he cheated on her 2x
but he threatened to go home to Thailand. and she freaked out about him leaving.

She honest to goodness said "If I can get him to agree to go to therapy, I can fix this"
I just want her to be free of him.
But he'll be good for a couple days. and she'll let her self soften up to him. and the cycle will just repeat.

This makes me sad beyond words. Like my post title suggests. Sometimes there are no words.
I can't let myself be sucked into it any more.
I have to distance myself.

I'm far enough away now that I can't physically help her anymore. but my heart just can't take the drama.

I swear to all that is holy, that if she tells me that he's verbally abusing her again, or he starts a verbal tirade I'm calling CPS.
No one is looking out for that little boy. I love him with every fiber of my being and he is my one and only priority in this fucked up situation.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011 0 comments

lets talk about school

First, Rotty's Headache Watch 2011 - Update - I have a follow up appointment tomorrow at 830am with a doctor to follow up on my ER visit. Hopefully they'll adjust my meds and make it so *that* never ever happens again.

So I've had a love hate (mostly hate) relationship with this school. I've been frustrated and fighting with them to get my GI bill situated. Along with the frustrations figuring the school out, getting registered, buying books etc.

Today I found out the my major department is being drastically cut back. The one major class that I needed for the fall I found out isn't being offered, nor do they know when they will offer it again.

This just adds to the frustration I've felt getting transferred to a degree program that was significantly lacking compared to my last school. And now not only am I taking classes that might not be needed for the next school I go to, but I have to go through this whole process all over again.

And the school is further away to boot. It's just a crap-tastic- situation all around.

But lets end this post on a good note. I do love tuesdays for one reason: Lunch int he sunshine
Just me in the car, the radio on low, my book, and the sunshine for a whole hour. no chores, no homework, no worries! Just sunshine and reading.
Monday, February 7, 2011 0 comments

The Saga Continues

So this round of head ache's wound me in the ER.

After 3 days of fighting it off on my own and self medication, my husband ordered me to get dressed because he was taking me to the ER.

Friday I woke up with a slight headache. I met a friend for lunch, took some meds before i left, and went about my day. That night i settled down and it got worse. I took some more pills and then when I went to bed I took my night time pills.

Saturday I woke up with a SCREAMER of a head ache. I couldn't move, open my eyes, or itch with out being in crazy amounts of pain. I moved from my bed to the couch and thats about it. I spent the majority of the day asleep. I went to bed about 8 o'clock on saturday. I woke up at around 930 and lost all of the food I had taken in that day. Which wasn't much, it was mostly saltines and fluids. I texted B to let him know. He called me all worried.

On Sunday when I woke up and wasn't much better, B made the decision that I needed to go to the ER asap.

I was in the ER for 3 hours. I got 2 bags of IV Fluids and 3 rounds of IV meds.
The ER doc told me he thought that the dosage of my medication needed to be re worked. That or I need my night meds to be switched to a differant medication. Which i would prefer just for the simple fact that it aids in weight loss.
I was woozy and fairly doped up when i left the ER, I came home and forced myself to eat something. Then I went to bed. I slept so sound.

I woke up today feeling more like myself than I had an a week. I got more accomplished today then I have all week. I was still feeling a little tired, So I went to my math class, but left after my test. I came home and relaxed and studied for my big test in my history class tomorrow. I should be asleep now. But, I think with all the sleeping I've done the last 3 days its kinda caught up to me a bit.

Tomorrow is my long day of classes. I have my hardest class 930 - 1220 and then my interior design snooze fest from 2-530

I will try and make it through all day with out taking my meds because they make it hard to concentrate, but I'm hoping I won't need them!

I also have to call the doctors office to make a follow up appointment to my ER visit. Hopefully at that point we can re address my meds.

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Friday, February 4, 2011 0 comments

Mister sandman... bring me a dream

No seriously, please let me sleep.

Today/Tonight my head hurts so bad.

I went to sleep last night with a minor head ache. I thought between the stressful week, loads of homework, and lack of sleep somewhere in the mix is the cause of my minor head ache.

I accidentally slept in till 11 am. I went to bed at 2 (not for lack of trying) so i wasn't to worried about it. The part that bothered me was that I woke up with a head ache. I took 2 of my 'day' pills before I left to run errands at noon. I started to feel better about 1-2ish. by 7 my head ache was back in full force.

its now midnight, I've taken 2 more 'day pills' and my night pill (not all at the same time) and my head hurts so bad that I'm nauseous, I have saltines next to my bed to help settle my tummy. It hurts so bad it my molars and jaw joint hurts.

Ugh. I want desperately to go to sleep, just to get away from this pain.
B is still saying that I'm not getting enough water, even though the doctor said its not the reason. I'll still up my water intake anyways.
B also said that the reason my pills take so long to kick is is that I take them on a full stomach. I get that, but it was engraved in my head growing up that your always supposed to eat when you take anything.

I guess its just me, the pup and late night TV (currently its on Teen Mom2)

Me and Sammy
He makes everything a little bit better!
Thursday, February 3, 2011 1 comments

Ugh. PMS. Pissy Men Syndrom

Gah. B is on a fucking rampage tonight.

Right after I got home from class I was doing some chores around the house. He did the dishes last night while i did my homework. I said thank you for doing the dishes more than once.

So today I didn't have any rush homework, so I decided to clean out the fridge and do the dishes from the leftovers.

He walks in the kitchen (after I cleaned out the fridge, took out the garbage, took the cans to the curb, and was in the process of emptying the dishwasher) and says... "well, looks like you made short work of that!" Implying it didn't take me long to make the kitchen a mess agian.

Then after he got home from working out, he see's that I rented movies. He gets so upset that I rented movies. He tells me to stop spending money because we need to save money. I get it, but for FUCKING SERIOUS. its $17.00 every couple days. He works nights. there's only so much TV a girl can watch before she goes bizerk.

He can be so hard on me sometimes. I go in to his office to say I'm sorry and that I didn't realize that it was hurting us financially that much and I wouldn't rent so many next time. and he says... and i quote "yeah yeah... you didn't realize..." and goes back to his computer.

We hang out have dinner (I made roasted chicken breast and onion potatoes) watch a movie (The Other Guys) and everything seemed cool.

Then I couldn't get a jug of cranberry juice open, So I took it to B in his office to help.

He asks why i'm drinking cranberry juice, So i tell him. He asks "oh yah, whats in the freezer?" I say, "huh?" He says, "got some vokda did you?"

uh no... You told me last night that even 2 beers has an effect on my meds, why would I switch to hard alcohol?

I know he's just so tired, He doesn't normally act like this. But come on!

Its just that he needs sleep.

We were supposed to get our cable upgraded. The cable guy was supposed to be here around 2-4

he showed up (waking b up) at 115, waking B up. he normally sleeps until 4-430.

I love this man with all my heart but i'm so over today.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011 1 comments

I love this crazy, tragic, sometimes almost magic,

... Awful, beautiful life

This new schedule/life style is kicking my ass!!
I know that I signed up for it, yada yada yada. but this is my blog and I'll whine if i want to.

the past week and a half has been sort of a 'transition' of sorts.
This is my class schedule
Monday: Math 1-330
Tuesday: History/English 930-1220 & Interior Design (materials & techniques) 2-530
Wednesday: Math 1-330
Thursday: History/English 930-1220
(soon i'll have an online class to boot, it starts in March. Why? I have not a clue)

Doesn't seem to bad, right? .... if you answered right to that question you are WRONG!

Every Math class I have a review worksheet, then a quiz, and then lecture. Yep, Every class (2 times a week) I have a Quiz or a test.

My History/English class is a new type of class. Its a 2 part class. It is English 02 and History 037 together. Its called a 'learning community'. Its actually a really interesting class. But there is a lot of work involved. I take no less than 6 pages of notes per class period. This class has 3 required text books, so there is a lot of reading.

My Interior Design class is not at all what I had expected. I thought it would be like the M&T class back at PCC. This class is all about field trips to different locations and manufacturers. Each class we have a guest speaker or a tour to go on. This isn't so bad except they're located all over the area. After each class meeting we're required to write a paper on what we learned, experienced, or took away from what we did or saw. Very vague, very open ended, and VERY frustrating.

To top it all of I'm started getting these head shattering headaches. I went to the doctor and he gave me some new medications. All the over the counter mix and match was not working for me.

The doctor said that if the meds don't help with in a month, or if they get any worse I'll go back in and get some head and body scans done.

Its been a whirlwind, but i'm hoping this next week I'll be able to get into the grove and hopefully be able to find time to get back into the gym. I need the gym time to get some of my frustrations out.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011 0 comments

And the hits just keep coming.

As I mentioned in my last blog post. I've been fighting with the military in order to get my reenlistment bonus.

I went in on Monday to provide the paperwork to prove that i was supposed to be in a duty position before i reenlisted. The woman who works in the office said that the only person who could back date my file wasn't in on Monday. I asked it i could come back and check on it.

Tuesday I had class all day and couldn't make it back on base.

Wednesday I went on base after my class. I was told that the woman who could back date it was only on duty for another 10 minutes, which in government work means that she's done for the day. the woman in the office went and talked to her and I was told that I was trying to back date it in the system 'to far back'. which is so frustrating.

She said she would 'see what she could do' and if I didn't hear from her by Friday (tomorrow) than I'm supposed to call her. But, I'm going to be on duty tomorrow. So I figure I'll just swing by.

I'm just frustrated. I just really need the money. and to be honest, i have NO idea what the bonus is. I just know that I deserve it, but they won't give it to me easily.



Frustrated at life.

I start my second week of school this week. I'm going through a lot of transitions at my unit. I'm struggling to keep afloat already and I’m only one week in.

I came to a realization that I can't fix people and they're going to be fucking crazy with or without me. And that the only time me and B have really fought since we moved down here has to do with 2 people. So I’m slowly fazing them out. Not a big dramatic cut ties, but a lot less them and a lot more me. It was a long time coming. I just need to realize that I can't fix people at the deficit of me and my relationship.

That just means that B's the only person I have to talk to here now. So its back to the blog to vent and release. After all the whole reason I started this blog was to deal with my anxiety. So why not go back to that.

I found out last Thursday that there is a complication with my re-enlistment bonus. And I’m fighting to get it. My military records in the system didn't accurately reflect what it needed to, so until I get that fixed, I can't get my money. Which is stressful because B's been stressing his student loans and CC balance. I went in and corrected what was holding up the process, but what do you figure, the only person who can fix the glitch wasn't in. So now I have to go back in today to see if it was fixed.

I was on duty on Friday and Saturday. Friday I go into get on a computer and I can't get into the system. After fighting for 3 hours, the Com. people tell me that I’ve been completely deleted from the entire system. My old base is migrating there system and when the deleted the people who are no longer there, they delete them out of the system as a whole. I didn't get computer access till 2:30. The duty day ends at 4:30. It was so frustrating. I got the opportunity to come in and work every Friday to get the training material together for the inspection we have coming up. Its a GREAT opportunity for me to prove myself and show what I know. But, it can also place me in a spot light and that isn't always a good thing. People often think that if its 'not broke, why fix it'. Unfortunately, there is a lot that needs to be fixed in this unit.

I had to talk to B today about helping me out around the house. I told him that my class schedule is going to be hard core this term and i can't continue to do it all around the house like I have been. I told him that on his days off he's going to need to help me. He seemed to take it okay, and even made dinner for me tonight. He's been really trying because he already see's how much home work I have already, and again its only the second week.

I'm just frustrated.
Mostly I'm over tired. My sleep has been for shit lately. I'll have 1 or 2 days of good sleep, then i have a string of days of really poor sleep.

I really have no point to this I just needed to vent.
Thank you for listening.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011 0 comments

Insomnia Blogging

Hello blogosphere.

Tonights the 5th or 6th night B's been working nights. I'm laying in bed pondering life's lessons, thinking about the deep meanings or something like that.

such as, I hate wearing clothes to bed. but it just doesn't feel right when B's not home and in bed. So it takes me longer to fall asleep, but it feels better. How the eff does that work.


how can I love 1 author so much that i can't put down her books on one series. but on the new series I'm struggling to get through each book. How does she go from insomnia inducing to coma inducing?
who is the artist of this?
I don't know why i love this so much, I found it on another tumblr account. I fell in love with it. and stole it. I would give a photo-credit, but don't know which one I got it from.

Speaking of Tumblr.
I have one! I'm trying to do a 365 photo challenge. I had a lot of friends try this, and some have already stopped. its only 11 (technically 12) days into the new year.


I've been doing pretty good. I've been thinking of starting a challenge, or theme each week to try and make it interesting. Like I'm thinking about making next week an 'inside my house' week. Take pictures of things only inside my house. Or, a 'view from my couch' where every picture I take must be from the seated position on some portion of my couch (which is hugenormous by the way). We shall see though. I'm afraid if i give myself to much restrictions, I won't follow through. Right now its easy to post a random picture a day.... but we are only 11 days in.

I'm also keeping up with my 'healthy life style change'.

I'm trying to get a group of online friends to do a 'biggest loser challenge'. As well as doing a 90 day challenge with my friend in real life. Plus I've started doing the Insanity work outs again.

I really don't have a 'wrap it up' type of comment for all this, but I will leave you with a wee bit of awesomeness

Monday, January 10, 2011 0 comments

When enough is enough

So in my last blog i stated that I was at a loss.

The reason I'm lost is in regards to one of my best friends in the whole world. I've talked about her a lot before on here. She's my best friend and the mother of my god son.

The problem is she's in an abusive relationship...... again. She's been with this boy (I say boy because men don't abuse women) for over a year now. and the longer she's been with him the worse he keeps getting. He isn't physically abusive, but he is mentally and verbally abusive xBizzilion.

On thursday night, It got so bad that she had to lock her self in their bathroom in order to get away from his verbal war he was waging against her.

On Friday, she went in for an abortion. The whole day he was calling, texing, and emailing her telling her he was moving all her stuff out of the house and that she was out on her own and that he wasn't going to be there for her at her appointment

Friday night, she was back with him. Telling me 'she hates how much she loves him'.

I feel so twisted with emotions inside.

I feel terrible that I'm not there to rescue her this time.
I feel terrible i wasn't there for her at her appointment to be the comfort he can't and won't be.

I feel incredibly relieved that I am free of the drama because i'm over 600 miles away with no possible way to get home to her.

If my godson wasn't in the middle of all of this, I probably would have cut ties with her and the drama a long long time ago.

but unfortunately there's a sweet little boy caught up in the mix, and I'm not about to let him out of my life any time soon.

Friday, January 7, 2011 0 comments

Friday Fill Ins

1. It's 2011; I _____.

2. _____ pickles.

3. Thankfully I have my _____.

4. _____ the best things in life.

5. I am so _____.

6. _____ bowl _____.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to _____, tomorrow my plans include _____ and Sunday, I want to _____!

1. It's 2011; I am so excited for what the new year bring.

2. I HATE pickles.

3. Thankfully I have my husband.

4. he brings out the best things in life.

5. I am so lucky and loved.

6. I love to go bowling.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to seeing good friends, tomorrow my plans include going to drill and trying to stay awake and Sunday, I want to make sure I get everything accomplished.

Thursday, January 6, 2011 1 comments

I'm at a loss

I'm alone... in my bedroom... folding clothes @11:47pm

your probably asking 3 questions.
1) why are you alone?
2) why are you still up?
and the big one
3) why are you at a loss?

Well, I'm alone because my husband starting working nights yesterday. He's on shift at the hospital (he's an RN) from 6pm -7:30am. So I'm alone pretty much all day now.

I'm alone when I go to bed. when I get up, he's going to bed. I'm alone all day (trying to be as quite as possible). He gets up for dinner and then leaves for work. we're together for about 3-4 hours a day now.

This is going to be a long 4 months. d

At his place of employment they're shifted from day shift to night shift every 3-4 months. That way they never get to burned out on one shift of the other.

but for those with families, I just can't imagine how hard night shift would be. I mean right now its just me and Sammy-poochy. and it already sucks and we're only on day (or night) 2.

Why I'm still up is because I'm the freaking best wife EVER.
What I do before I go to bed is fold my husbands clothes.
while he's sleeping I do laundry. The washer and dryer and bedroom are on opposite ends of the house.

So before I go to bed, I nest a little by folding his clothes and making the bed. Even though he doesn't notice, and i'm the only one sleeping in the bed. but thats okay.

the reason I'm at a loss....
I think this is going to be a post for another night.