Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Frustrated at life.

I start my second week of school this week. I'm going through a lot of transitions at my unit. I'm struggling to keep afloat already and I’m only one week in.

I came to a realization that I can't fix people and they're going to be fucking crazy with or without me. And that the only time me and B have really fought since we moved down here has to do with 2 people. So I’m slowly fazing them out. Not a big dramatic cut ties, but a lot less them and a lot more me. It was a long time coming. I just need to realize that I can't fix people at the deficit of me and my relationship.

That just means that B's the only person I have to talk to here now. So its back to the blog to vent and release. After all the whole reason I started this blog was to deal with my anxiety. So why not go back to that.

I found out last Thursday that there is a complication with my re-enlistment bonus. And I’m fighting to get it. My military records in the system didn't accurately reflect what it needed to, so until I get that fixed, I can't get my money. Which is stressful because B's been stressing his student loans and CC balance. I went in and corrected what was holding up the process, but what do you figure, the only person who can fix the glitch wasn't in. So now I have to go back in today to see if it was fixed.

I was on duty on Friday and Saturday. Friday I go into get on a computer and I can't get into the system. After fighting for 3 hours, the Com. people tell me that I’ve been completely deleted from the entire system. My old base is migrating there system and when the deleted the people who are no longer there, they delete them out of the system as a whole. I didn't get computer access till 2:30. The duty day ends at 4:30. It was so frustrating. I got the opportunity to come in and work every Friday to get the training material together for the inspection we have coming up. Its a GREAT opportunity for me to prove myself and show what I know. But, it can also place me in a spot light and that isn't always a good thing. People often think that if its 'not broke, why fix it'. Unfortunately, there is a lot that needs to be fixed in this unit.

I had to talk to B today about helping me out around the house. I told him that my class schedule is going to be hard core this term and i can't continue to do it all around the house like I have been. I told him that on his days off he's going to need to help me. He seemed to take it okay, and even made dinner for me tonight. He's been really trying because he already see's how much home work I have already, and again its only the second week.

I'm just frustrated.
Mostly I'm over tired. My sleep has been for shit lately. I'll have 1 or 2 days of good sleep, then i have a string of days of really poor sleep.

I really have no point to this I just needed to vent.
Thank you for listening.