Monday, December 6, 2010

So Rotty, What did you do this weekend?

Oh, I'm so glad you asked.

I watched 28 woman pee! Aren't you jealous!?

::slams forehead into stall door::

The conversation goes

Me: Step into my office :snaps rubber gloves & opens bathroom door:
Me: Place the small bottle on the sink and take the large one in with you
Pee Person: Wow, you're job sucks.
Me: You think?
Pee Person: :laughs: this is embarrassing
Me: Its not that bad. ::starts talking about something other than them urinating::
Pee Person: ::pees:: ::tries to hide the smile on their face::
Me: place the cup on the floor where I can see it.
Pee Person: ::Buttons up uniform::
Me: take the big bottle, pour it into the small bottle and seal tight. if you need to wash your hands, you can only use water.
Pee Person: ONLY WATER? why is that?
Me: I don't know, I'm just following the rules.
Pee Person: Why don't you know?
Me: Um... I don't work here. I just got volun-told to do this yesterday.
Pee Person: that sucks

This same senerio happened all 28 times.

It wasn't bad until I had to watch my supervisor pee. THAT was awk.ward.

man. i watched people pee for 3 hours. interesting, but not fun.

There was supposed to be 2 female observer's and 3 male observer's.

unfortunately, the other female has a UIF (unfavorable information file) so she couldn't observe.

So all the female pee watching was left for me! OMG!

I had 4 beers last night. I was EXHAUSTED!

There was the first woman who had to pee so bad that she peed on her hand.

There was the pregnant chick who had the clearest pee of them all.

There was the hungover chick who's pee was orange ::gag::

There was the woman who told me she thought she was pregnant, but didn't want it to happen right now because she was trying to time it around our next inspection so she didn't have to go.

There was the deliriously tired woman who i honestly had to tell her step by step how to do it. no joke.

There was the tiny chick who was so afraid of the toilet seat that she pee'd on it. She was trying to hold her self off the seat by using the hand rail (I had them use the handicap stall so they had more room) and she ended up turning her but towards the cup. and she pee'd on the seat.

it was an interesting day to say the least.