Sunday, April 26, 2009

Well, shit!

So i pissed off the husband.

Back story (the condensed version):
-his school has a bar crawl every term
-he hasn't been able to go
-he wanted to go
-he also wanted to crash on a friends couch
-his friend was a female
-he knew this would upset me and said so before he told me about it.
-I've met her 2 times
-never had more than 1 conversation with her
-couldn't pick her out in a crowd if i had too.

So i told him i didn't like it, but if it was his only option then i trusted him to make the best decision.

So at the end of the night last night he told me that he would ask his Step dad to pick him up.

Well today he tells me that he's still mad and i quote "I don't know, I guess I'm more disappointed that I'm still havering to deal with these pointless squabbles over an easily correctable situation.... Especially when nothing was done yet, only planning".

What the hell?! i thought we corrected it. i thought we were working on it. i don't understand where the issue is.

and the worst part. even though i don't understand... i feel like absolute shit! i am such a mush when it comes to this man. I want to stand up and be like i did nothing wrong. but the simple fact that he used the word "disappointed" crushes me. But i won't back down. I do NOT like the fact that he might sleep over at some girls house. it tears me up! absolutely tears me up inside. I'm not a trusting person by nature. i come from a long line of hypocondriacts and jealous women. the fact that I've been cheated on more than once doesn't help. but i trust him to make the write decision. i may not like it, but i trust him. and the fact that he's disappointed in me crushes my heart.

i'm on the other side of the world, and nothing seems to be going right.