Monday, October 11, 2010

Officer's wife

I know those words together kind of rub enlisted wives raw. but I promise you, this isn't going to be the post your thinking its going to be. So pardon my crudeness, but get the sand out of your who-ha and relax a bit

I grew up in the military. My dad served in the USAF for 33 years. Some of it was active duty, most was reserves. I knew from a young age that if I was physically able, I would join. And by young I mean... I told my parents at 3 or 4 that I wanted to be like daddy. So when I graduated and told them I was joining it was no surprise to them.

I always knew I was going to marry a military man. Its not that there's anything wrong with civilian men, but they just don't get 'it'.

I grew up very differently than most kids. Most kids don't make 90* corners on their beds or learn how to fold their shirts into 4" x 4" squares. This was an every day occurrence in my child hood.

My mother's dad (whom I regretfully never met) was an old marine drill sergeant.
My Father's dad was an old army officer.

I'm 3rd generation military and I am PROUD of it.

My Uncle served in 2 wars
My Dad served in 1 war
My grandfather wouldn't speak of what he went though
My Mom's brother (my other uncle) was in so many wars that he doesn't talk about his military career at all. Somethings are just to tough to talk about. I think that's why he has so many issues with me... but that's a story for another day.

Civilian guys (in my opinion) have a hard time understanding military woman. and the same goes for the other way around. again... i'll reserve that story for another day.

I dated several civilians but it never worked out. I would get deployed, they would cheat. I would get extended, they would get they're thong's in a twist and demand I come home. Same story different person.

But when I imagined my life, I thought I would be married to an enlisted guy. A down and dirty, work for a living, come home stanky, enlisted man. Yes... Yes... I know, all enlisted guys aren't like that. but that's what I pictured.

And I did for the most part. I married an enlisted man.... who became an officer.

Now there's a fine line of fraternization between enlisted and officers. Officer's aren't supposed to hang out with enlisted and visa versa. And forget about dating, that is a bad area you do not want to get into. If its a unit event, or during work hours, its not as bad. but off duty, at a bar... NO GO! Do not pass go, do not collect 200.00. no ma'am.

So I'm kind of in an odd place right now.

I am enlisted. I love my job. I love my people. I love what I do. I work for a living, I work hard, And I work well.

But I'm married to an officer.... WHOA! yeah... an enlisted woman is married to a male officer.

I know its not that big of a deal for him, because I am reserves. but for me. I'm in this odd limbo state.

I can't hang out with the female officers that he works with... unless he's around.
I can't make friends with his friends because of this.
I can make friends with my other enlisted people
but he cant' hang out with only enlisted.

So I'm in this weird place. Its hard to put into the right words... its just weird.

Also, I have this stereotype of Officer's Wives in my head. I picture them as the 'step-ford' wife of the military. and I know that sounds derogatory, but I mean it as a compliment.

I picture officer wives as this picturesque wife. Perfect hair, perfect teeth, perfect clothes, perfect makeup, perfect body, Perfect... I could go on, but i think you get the picture.

So I feel this Drive to be *that* wife. And I think its kind of draining on me.
I don't know how to quite express all the mixed emotions that i have right now. but that is why I have this blog, separate from my other blogs.

This is a place for me to come, vent, and sometimes (more times than not) not make sense.

I really have no where to go with this post
I just really needed to get that out.