I've come to notice how strong i am in my self and in my relationship with my husband over the week. I haven't talked to my mother or my brother in over a week, and i am not quite sure when i'll be ready to talk to them. I feel super terrible for my dad, who seems stuck in the middle.
so this weekend is another 'duty weekend'
i used to look forward to these weekends. they were full of laughter and fun, full of friends and family. Now they are just a pain. the 2.5 hour drive, the shity hotel, the super crappy people. There is such a division of people in this new place. there is them and us. there is the old people and the new people. Gah! its frustrating. In my old place i knew my role. I had things i did and people who were truley happy to see me each month. Now its just about how fast can i make the day go by. what can i do to pass the time. and it sucks! it really sucks. I love my duty and i love what i do, but them and this place makes it so so so hard to enjoy.
in may i get to go to Virginia and that should be really interesting. I've only been to the east coast but one time. and that was for a 2 hour lay over while our plane refuled on our trip to germany. we didn't even leave the terminal. but what is new. i never leave the terminal. hahahaha!
If you do not hope, you will not find what is beyond your hopes.
St. Clement of Alexandra
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