Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Memory Lane

So I'm sitting here taking off the insignia from my old uniform, so that we can donate them. And I can't help but think about the last time I word this uniform. This is 2 ranks and 5 years ago. Its crazy to think about how different my life is right now.

The last time I wore this uniform It was winter 2005. I had just come home from basic training and was "full of piss and vinegar" like my grandma likes to say. I was in love with the military and everything about it. I wanted to go faster, do more, and do it better. I also had NO idea about the world and how to conduct myself in it.

The last time I wore this uniform, I was a young young 19 year old girl. I say girl, because thats what I was. I had recently broken off an engagement, which come to find out was the best decision I'd made thus far in my life (second only to joining the military). I was now dating some loser that I met through some friends who wanted to do nothing more than play halo and smoke weed with his friends. I of course was doe-y eyed in love with him and sat behind him while he played his games, and stood down wind when they were smoking.

The last time I wore this uniform I was on my way to what I would consider the turning point in my young life. I was on my way to spend 7 months in California on orders (coincidentally the same base I'm at now). This was the first time I would branch out on my own. I was getting paid more than I had ever made before... not a hard thing to top mind you. I was in a hotel by myself with MAID service. And all I had to do was show up 4 days a week, work 12 hours, and then I was free.

The last time I wore this uniform:
I was single,
I was young,
I was wild wild wild,
I was emotional,
I was careless,
I was neurotic,
I was chaotic,
I was in love with love,
I was in lust with anyone who lusted after me,
I was in like with all male figures,
I had my first taste of alcohol,
I had my first hang over,
I had my first drunk dialing experience, which BTW was to my mom who told me to eat a loaf of bread to sober up
I had my first pregnancy scare
I had a reputation for my crazy and wild behavior
I was so prone to anxiety
I had huge ideals for the world
I was silly
I was fun
I would spend money like it was going out of style
I was so skinny
I was soooooooooooo many things both good and bad

I'm glad I took the time to sit back and remember these memories. I'm glad they're in the past but i regret none of them. The person who was in this uniform made me who I am today. With out that crazy girl, I wouldn't be the woman I am today.

And while 19 to 24 to some people doesn't seem like that big of a gap.... man oh man does it feel like it.